Sobriety as single/married man

Advice & Questions
22

I am a PMO addict in recovery. I am single. Personally I believe that I can’t enter in a relationship until I don’t heal this part of my life. I will destroy someone and I don’t want that

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23

Very wise. I think that’s the best course of action. Bringing your old baggage on a trip unbeknownst to your new partner wouldnt be fair to them, or yourself.

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24

I had a Mental Health team that cared for me after a suicide attempt and was cared for by a Psychiatrist who was very good then had some counselling and therapy alongside 3 anti depressents that all work together.
Hope you’re well today Philip :+1:t2:

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25

I’m glad that you’re still here and got some necessary help and support along the way.
I am doing pretty well, thanks. How about yourself?

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26

@Philipwithonel I agree. sometimes is hard but I found that selfishness is in the root of this addiction.

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27

I started my recovery from PMO while I was single. I had been 1,5 years in recovery when I met my husband. And I’m still in recovery.

I can’t say which is “easier” - recovering as a single or in a committed relationship. It’s definitely different. One one hand being married and having sex regularly definitely helps with cravings, since I can direct them towards Hubby. On the other hand, the stakes are much much higher. We consider consuming porn as adultery (our mutual perspective, what other couples decide is not my business), which makes relapsing very serious. If I was to cross that line, it would mean something is terrible wrong. As a single, you’re only accountable to yourself (and a trusted person, if that’s something you have set up). I remember craving and thinking about sex A LOT more when I was single in recovery than what I do now.

Nevertheless, we don’t pursue sobriety primarily for others - it must be for ourself. So definitely start your journey today rather than later, regardless your civil status.

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28

Thanks for the share.

I cant speak to being “single” technically but the wife and I are currently seperated and I have my own place now… so it damn near feels like it. That and we hadnt been intimate for a while leading up to that point. So, I’d say though different dynamics. the single life could prove to be more challenging, for me, knowing I dont have a spouse that I can act out with at times as a supplement for the pmo cravings.

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