Im officially 91 days sober and clean from narcotics I feel overwhelmed and I still have dreams where I’m using and I wake up scared that I have actually used and thats terrifying but I’m under some much stress where I want to go back and be numb to my self and to trauma but I have to want this for me I have to want to stay sober for my self and no one else.
10 Likes
Congrats on your 91 days 
The dreams, they are weird aren’t they. They only releif I feel from them is when I wake up and realise it was only a dream.
The feeling of wanting to use to feel numb will pass, this time will pass. For me Iv had to get some help from my Dr and a therapist to try and deal with real problem that made me feel like I couldn’t manage my feelings.
You are doing really well, and this is very true and your doing it 
4 Likes
Thank you I appreciate it I’ve been speaking with doctors but they said that I have more “pressing medical issues “ to work on but on working on talking to someone when a spot becomes available 
2 Likes
It can suck, I agree. 91 days is great and it can and does get better. But first it is hard. Believe in yourself and keep fighting. We are here for you.
4 Likes
Thank you 
The dreams are so scary for me because how real it feels and I feel guilty even in my dreams when I use and I wake up sweating and dizzy 
2 Likes
I know that feeling, it is so awful. I hated it too. It will pass. Your mind and body are healing. Stick with it. 
2 Likes
Thank you !! I wish more people knew about this app. I’ve been telling people that I know who are also in recovery close to me that this app truly helps if you don’t feel comfortable going to a meeting yet I can be a great way to anonymously share
5 Likes
I agree with you on the app. It has helped me a lot as well.
2 Likes
Today’s been really hard I found out that both my roommates are using the same drugs that I am one day away from being 100 days sober from and I know there’s stuff in the room right next to me and I’m just trying my best not to think about it.
1 Like
Don’t give up your 100 days
!!!
Picking up is not worth it
Are you doing ok??
1 Like
I don’t feel like I am I’m trying to get into housing of my own but it’s hard I live in Oregon and we have to affordable housing or housing vouchers but just knowing I could get what’s left from the lines and do it is stressful
1 Like
Hang in there. We can do this. I have had some scary dreams too. I drank for so long that I forgot how to just be present. Its really hard. Give yourself grace and be kind to yourself.
I live close I’m in Washington County but people are making me feel like shit for holding them accountable for what they said to me and keeping promises.
1 Like
It’s so hard for me to be kind to my self 
No it’s stupid and naïve but once I told one of my roommates who is also like a grandpa that I need to stop they said they would make a rule in the apartment that no one is allowed to use in the house. I went into one of the rooms where my things are being kept to look for summer clothes and I noticed that the roommate that the same room I use for storage has dust from previous lines. When I brought this up to my “grandpa “ he got upset and said well just don’t go in the room even though he’s the one that made the rules to help me…
1 Like
Lots of meetings for NA or CA in Portland. Might even hear of a housing opportunity. 100 days is a tricky milestone. Might be wise to ramp up your recovery support.
1 Like
I don’t have any besides my doctors
1 Like
Have you tried looking for new roommates?
That sounds like a bad situation when you’re trying to stay clean. Maybe check local listings to see if anyone’s in need of a roommate. Preferably someone who doesn’t use. I told my brother not to bring anything like that in the house again and so far he hasn’t that I know of.
Hopefully you can get out of this and find a place that’s healthy with people who respect what you’re going through. Even if they are doing coke or whatever they shouldn’t be leaving traces of it laying around.
1 Like
I can’t work right now doctors orders unfortunately or if work
1 Like
Try to stay strong. Maybe have a talk with all of them and tell them not to leave evidence of anything behind if they do it in the house? It shouldn’t be that hard to keep the mirror or whatever they’re using put away.
I’m in a situation where my brother who rents from me still brings beer and liquor in the house. There’s always an 18 or 30 pack within view and he’s definitely an alcoholic. There’s zero temptation as of now, but who knows if that may change. If so I’ll have to crack down and act like I actually run my own house.
Try to keep your mind on other things. Looks like there are plenty of people to talk to here.