A few days ago I crossed the 2 year milestone of sobriety from alcohol and drugs. I am proud of myself and feel really good about the path I am on. My partner and I made the decision to get clean at the same time, so it was really nice to celebrate together and we treated ourselves to dinner out at a restaurant we both like. A plus was that this dinner was easily affordable as we have saved so much money by eliminating our past unhelpful (and expensive!) behaviours. Thank you to the community here for ongoing support and encouragement.
The clarity I have now has been very eye opening - for example, I left a job I felt stuck in, and I believe I now have the option to make better decisions for myself overall as many distractions have been simply removed from my life - all good things.
An issue that I do struggle with is grieving the loss of old friendships, and forming new friendships. In sobriety, I have recognized that many people I previously considered my close friends now appear to be my merely aquantances (if that) as we have drifted apart considerably. I don’t doubt that this change is because I no longer engage in the substance related behaviours. Though I think it is also because I stopped being the one that put a majority of the effort into maintaining the friendship. For example, it seemed I was always the one that would reach out, initiate, and organize plans with friends.
The consequence is that at times I feel lonely because I miss these people I thought were my friends. However, I have come to realize that most of these people were not friends as they never sincerely took an interest in me.
Making new friends is not easy (I am in my early 40s), though I am grateful for the few good friends I do I have - I put extra effort into these relationships.
I am definitely more mindful about how and with whom I spend my time now. For me, his freedom of choice has been a true gift I have found in sobriety.
