anxiety is through the roof i still havent been outside yet since being sober. im channelling all these thoughts feelings and memories and feeling it all. all the stuff i became an addict because of what i was trying to block out/ numb myself. having a personality disorder and adhd doesnt help. everything is intense. i have to keep telling myself that time is a healer. my brains half trying to trick me that ‘one wont hurt’ but i dont want to risk it. i am overthinking how im going to get back everything that i have lost over my addiction. obsessing over trying to figuire it out really. and the millions of messes that ive caused time and time again. i need distraction tbh where again id usually go for a drink. so reinventing myself and finding new strategies and ways is feeling tough but im only at the start. day 3 is feeling very overwhelming for me.
It sounds to me like you’re doing the work. You’re delving deep in introspection and allowing yourself to feel the things you’ve denied yourself in active addiction.
Growth is uncomfortable and I believe it’s supposed to be. 
I also believe that we have to sit with our feelings until they run out of steam, until our body has been given the opportunity to process and release them.
Good for you! Yes, one will hurt and it’s good to remember that. One is calling you back to the old version of you, waiting to pull you back into the darkness. Honor and acknowledge that voice but simply tell it that you’re not interested.
And be proud of yourself, despite the pain you’re experiencing. Be proud for doing what so many never get the opportunity to.
Keep reaching out here, to friends, to a community.
You don’t need to do it all today. The only thing you need to do today is not drink. Be kind to yourself.
@Moll Who ever really stops after just 1 though? One hit? One sip? One bump? Why bother. You’ll just crave more.
The early days are so hard. I remember that feeling of racing thoughts, restless energy, and obsession.
It will pass as long as you stick through it. But in my opinion, distraction helps alot. In my first few months I started painting, playing chess, and reading a lot more. Find something that engages your mind but also keeps your hands busy. You got this!
It can feel very overwhelming in the beginning, but if you stick with it, i swear it does get better. I’m glad you’re here and working towards a better way of life for yourself.. living in that constant cycle of addiction is miserable.. wasted.. hungover.. repeat 
Keep pushing through one day at a time. We’re all in this together 
so my appetite is regenerating and non alcoholic heineken has helped with the cravings a little. i have kept half a bottle of wine as a test of grounding myself and trying to practice self control. i could really do with some hobbie ideas anything that would distract me. im really sitting with the deprival off alcohol trying to figuire everything out. in a few hours il be going into my 4th day of sobriety an i usually give up on the 3rd.
Some might suggest removing the alcohol from the premise, but to be honest I did the same thing as a way to practice and sustain my own self control. I gave up alcohol in June and I have a cabinet with the same bottles of booze that I don’t even think about anymore.
At first it took a lot of energy to refrain from going to it, especially during panic attacks.
But it lost its power over me. I mean as long as I don’t drink it of course.
For hobbies you should try something you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to because you were busy with ‘other things’.
I’m currently setting up a place for archery and axe throwing, along with sugar cookie baking and decorating.
Hiking has become my place of refuge..
puzzles, painting, reading.
You can grab a deck of cards and learn some card shuffling tricks just to occupy your mind when you feel restless.
Crocheting, wood carving, photography to name some ideas.
Keep it up 
I know it’s not easy, but it’s so worth it.
Onto day 4 you go!
I do not really see the point in keeping alcohol around your house at this point. There are many simpler ways to practice and demonstrate your self control. The best one is trying to keep your thoughts out of the past and future while you do a mundane task(like the dishes). Staying in the present is a fun way to work on self control. Don’t become roommates with your worst enemy.
And when would you finally decide to dump out the alcohol. Do you really want to live with knowing that task is still waiting for you. I say dump it out now. Then immediately ask your mind to not think into the past or future and be at peace in the moment.