Hi guys,
Which of you struggles with making sober friendship’s or making plans for the weekend with other’s? I felt like when i used i had people wanting to know me now i am sober i have legit no friends or ever any plan’s? Is this normally?
I struggle with mental health also but i did pior to being in recovery
I cant seem to work out whats so bad about me that nobody has anything to do with me ?
You’re being too hard on yourself. Take a step back and look at it objectively.
For example are you calling friends to hang out and they are saying no? Or are you waiting for them to reach out?
People grow apart, lives get busy… Don’t read into it too much.
If you’re seeking friends, go to places that support your interests.
For example: If you like bowling, get a lane alone. Chat with the people around. Invite someone over to your lane.
If you like books, hit up the library. Every library has events.
If you’re on social media, DM people. Worst case they just leave you on read.
Take it easy, nothing is wrong with you. There’s always someone out there for someone.
For me I let the few friends I had where I’m currently living go. Most of them are heavy drinkers and early in recovery I couldn’t be around them. Drinking doesn’t bother me anymore but my interests changed.
I’m starting to venture out now and trying to make new friends. It’s not easy but I’m being much more selective this go around.
There is nothing wrong with you. You just need to find your tribe, out yourself out there. 
Ive got hundreds of sober friends i met at meetings , new mindset new friends wish you well
It’s normal to feel this way during recovery. Many people see their social circles change when they get sober because some friendships were based on substance use. It’s not about something being wrong with you; it’s just a change in lifestyle. Making new, sober friends takes time and effort. Try picking up new hobbies or volunteering to meet people with similar interests. It’s been 41 days for me, and I’ve gotten used to not socializing with old friends, but I do notice that socializing with my family is sometimes hard. They enjoy having their drinks, and now that I’m sober, they find me too serious. You’re not alone, and things can get better with time and effort. Don’t be hard on yourself. One day at a time.
Welcome Ashleigh to the forum!!!
Initally when i got clean and sober, i was quite alone. I felt lonely alot bcuz all of the “friends” i did have used drugs or drank.
But attending 12 step meetings like AA or NA or CA really helped me to build some sober friendships. I dont think i wouldve been able to develop sober friendships early on if it wasnt for these groups.
I came to realize that my using friends werent really friends at all unfortunately. We just basically were around each other bcuz we had a common problem… drugs. So once i got clean, they sort of vanished and kept to themselves.
I think its quite normal in the beginning to feel lonely. But dont let that deter u from staying sober. Maybe there are some groups in ur area that share similar hobbies as urself. Ive met people at the gym. 12 step meetings. Friendships will come in time 