Hi everyone, I’m Sam and this is my first time posting in this community. I am on day 8 sober from alcohol. Physically I feel much better, not being hungover is truly a blessing. Mentally this is so challenging though. Every day and night I wanna pick up a bottle and start a new bender. I’ve been going to AA meetings and will be starting the steps soon. I’m very young, only 22, but alcohol has created many problems in my life. I’ve lost friends, had problems with family, woke up to my house trashed and things broken way too many times, driven when I wasn’t safe to, gotten random injuries while drunk that I didn’t remember the next morning. Last time I got drunk I drank for 22 hours straight. Half a handle of vodka, several beers, and 2 cans of monster energy. I was feeling suicidal and was contemplating going through with it. I called my mom and we talked through it. They know I’m an alcoholic and have listened to my drunken ramblings far too often. Always regret my actions the next day. I don’t feel suicidal when I’m sober.
Day 8 today, not my first time trying to quit, but my first time getting involved with AA and taking it seriously. Despite all of this I still just want to drink or use something else more than anything. Today I threw away everything I have that can get me high or buzzed. Weed, kratom, a $120 bong (that one stung). Some people use these substances as harm reduction to avoid alcohol, but I think for me the best option is to be completely sober, as I tend to abuse everything I touch.
These sobriety communities help me a lot, they make me feel a little less alone in this struggle. Today, I will not drink. Today, I will not get high. I can’t guarantee that I will never drink or smoke weed again, but I can say that I won’t do those things today. That’s what matters, one day at a time.
