I find myself in a crossroad…my relationship is beginning to run dry, it doesnt feel exciting any more 
. I recently lost a little over 40 lbs and my skinny/fit self is coming back. This has caused me to get a lot of attention from other woman at work and on my daily walks. My partner no longer pays attention to me like before and I’m beginning to have some resentment over this…I’m the type of person that likes physical affection, not the clingly type at all but I like to be physical. I prefer a touch here and there over words…and I haven’t been getting that. I know I’m not gonna drink or drug myself any more because I’ve made up my mind about that…but I cant stop thinking about drinking and smoking. People keep inviting me to bars after work and I feel like I’m about to give in, even though I’m not. Its hard to explain…I’ve gotten over meth and coke 100%…but the drinking and smoking are really pulling me in. Im certain I’m not giving in but I hate this feeling. I’ve told my partner that I miss her and I need some attention and all she says is “aww”…it pisses me off. Now that I have this attention from other girls, I’m afraid to give in to my sex addiction again. It took me a few years to get that under control…I just might let it happen again. Any advice?
These things certainly happen. It’s a bumpy road. Obviously don’t cave in and go to the bar. Remember where you came from and how far you have come. One of the things i heard on YouTube is that it can also be a good idea to write out the things you enjoyed about using and use it to see where you have deficits in your life in order to feel those gaps and grow as a person. As far as relationship im sorry but im not the person who can really give advice in that area.
Video mentioned
I actually write things down and burn it after. I just dont like how im reacting to this feeling of abandonment that im having…I know im not gonna drink, its the attention from other women thats getting to me.
Idk man I remember I had 15 months and started romanticize drinking and drugging, I eventually made some risky text for cocaine and back out. Then started buying n.a drinks and then eventually relapsed. So just be careful, idk what advice to give bc were all different and have different ways to stay sober. I get wanting attention, but I feel like the grass is greener where you water it. Falling into the sexual tension with other women could lead to some other risky situations. Wish you the best though. It’s good to be healthy, but caring about looks isn’t the key to happiness either
I get what you mean. Im not worried about my looks though. I just decided to get healthier…the looks kinda come with it. I’ve always been the “power lifter” body type so I can’t really change that. It’s kinda natural for me. I also deflect the attention I’m getting. Its just getting more difficult. You’re right though. Maybe I should chill a bit.
Well at this point you’ve learned to politely say no to drugs in a similar way all you have to do is just simply acknowledge it by thanking them then saying your in a committed relationship and not interested.
This is a good video. I gotta watch if after work…thank you
Yeah i want to look more into smart recovery. It’s supposed to be evidence based using a form of cbt called rational emotive behavioral therapy as well as mindfulness and possibly a couple of other things. It seems really good at least for me and how my brain works from everything I’ve seen. I love that it’s more science than religion and spiritual based l.That video certainly changed my whole perspective on things.
Maybe do something new together. It takes effort from both to make the relationship interesting.
True. But I cant force anything. Im not the type to beg either, too prideful 
. I’ve said my part…its difficult to find something new after 15 years.
No need to beg. Keep trying. Maybe she is struggling with something that she is finding it hard to talk about. If you still are in love with her, keep trying. If you’re done, you’re done.
I just ended my almost 5 year relationship because my mental health was at risk of getting worse because he wouldn’t take care of his mental health.
@Bweldin I do love her. Maybe you’re right. I sound a bit selfish now that I read my post. . Maybe its just me trying to lash out like before.
We all are human. We struggle. We don’t always know how to talk through things. Or we are afraid of the outcome from talking about what is bothering us.
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For me that’s my standard answer. I have felt that burning facts after ive written them down has helped me. .
Glue page together also helps.
I would like to suggest that you TRY not to feel selfish. That is considered stinking thinking.
It’s your recovery, work it. All the inside icky stuff counts. Put yourself first and when your back with your partner, it will all pay off.
Be selfish now, this way… when your back together, you will have learned tools on how to deal with selfish thoughts.
At least, that’s how I’m thinking it will play out.
That’s a tough one for me. I asked her to not take “breaks” when we first got together. We usually have good communication…just not recently. In the 15 years we’ve been together we’ve never taken a break and I dont plan on doing it. If things are done…They’re done and thats it. But I will try to work through this without drinking, using or being a manwhore. Idk if that’s the correct word. I just can’t find another 