The past 2 years have been the worst in my drinking career. Nearly every day, often times all day. I lost almost all of my friends because I was too busy drinking alone in my apartment. My previously decently fit body ruined by thousands of extra calories and being too busy drinking to exercise. Cavaties in my teeth from all the sugar. I dont get hangovers in the morning; I get withdrawl symptoms. My kidneys hurt. Im nauseous all the time, soaking my sheets with sweat, shaky hands, bloated face, vomit, paranoia, tremors, mild hallucinations. Why would I keep putting myself through this just to drink? I stopped liking alcohol a long time ago but it was a habit that I couldnt break. And every time I try to quit I just think, “Its ok I can just have one drink after work and thats it, itll be fine” and of course thats never how it works out.
But now… Im genuinly afraid of what Ive done to myself physically and mentally. Alcohol is no longer an option for me.
I have 5 days today and Im not going back.
Your doing so good!! I know it’s easier said but honestly once you get over this physical part it’s all mental,the physical is to show you that you don’t ever wanna do this again. We all know about that thinking we can control our addiction. The way it’s explained to me in treatment is compared to having diharea and trying to control it w.o any help from meds. Sorry if that is gross but if you think about it it’s true. “Controlling” our addiction isnt possible. 1 is to mamy 1,000 is never enough. . But getting well is. I just wanted to say I’m proud of you and you got this!!! Best wishes.
5 days is huge, coming from where you’ve been. As horrible as it’s been, the truly awesome thing is, you never have to go back. It’s a hell of a battle, possibly the hardest one you’ll ever fight. But you CAN win. Every minute, every hour, every day sober is a win. It is so friggin’ worth it! YOU are so friggin worth it. Prayers, thoughts and strength to you.
That’s great news. Your body will repair itself and you will heal from this disease. Get into a program and work it. You’ll be glad not to do it alone.