Hi everybody,
I just have a question about therapy. Today I did my first session & I really liked him & the things he said. Have any of you gone to therapy to help with sobriety & did it work?
Quick back story: I’ve been in active addiction for 8 years, heavy drinker before then. Tired to get sober a billion times. In 3 hours & 40 minutes I’ll be 30 days sober. I went through DTs, had a week of peace & now I’m very emotional. Sporadic, uncontrollable bouts of crying that come out of nowhere.
Thanks x
Hello Lisa-B! I do support my recovery with therapy. I drank as a way of responding to things in my life and the world around me. I thought it was a way to “deal” with the stressful and difficult and sad things, a way to reward myself, a way to celebrate, too.
There a whole bunch of ways and programs and books and resources to learn new ways of dealing, rewarding, celebrating, etc - doing all these things, in recovery. Therapy is definitely helping me as learn new ways to respond to the world around me, a new way to show up to my own life, really! Just one of the things I’ve added to my recovery to support it.
You’re navigating emotions that you used to numb. Well done. It’ll get easier and you’ll get more confident in your sobriety to face the stuff of life and come out on the other side.
Thank you so much for your reply. I drank for every reason and no reason. I have been having honest conversations with loved ones about my drinking, journalling like crazy, listening to sober podcasts (getting so many tips from these) reading other people’s “how I got sober” stories etc … I felt I was doing well with all this until the water works started.
My therapist believes that we use substances to take the pain away (in my case grief from my dad’s passing) and now that I’ve quit all the suppressed emotions are back with a vengeance.
It makes sense but it’s no fun.
Congrats on your 30 days! I remember I started feeling lost and unsure how to process all the emotions that surface with sobriety around that time. I continued like that until 60 days when I decided to try AA, which is kinda like therapy It was for me at least. The advice I received on how to deal with my feelings of regret I still practice today. I’m sure actual one on one therapy with an educated professional will be even better! Glad you liked your therapist. I hope you are able to open up honestly with him and work together as a team to solve your troubles. All the best
My drinking was definitely a problem, but a well-disguised one (at least, according to a lot of societal standards, sigh). You know how we used to say that glass of wine takes the edge off things? It took my own dear Dad’s passing for me to find a grief so sharp, an edge so cutting, that no amount of wine in the world would ever dull it. I tried though.
There were a lot of tears that just needed to get out after I set down the wine glass. My counsellor told me to trust that the only way is through. And he was right! But it was so hard at first. After a while, though, it felt like a relief to just feel my feelings - especially knowing that they are temporary. There will be tears. There will be laughs too.
I’d be willing to bet our Dads are damned proud of us and how we’re doing today sober.
@Just_Laura thank you for your reply. I’m not great at asking for help with anything so going to therapy is a huge step for me. I just think my drinking and my current emotions are bigger than me & I can not handle them alone.
I had considered meetings too but to be honest talking about alcohol & listening to people talk about alcohol makes me want to drink & I’m not strong enough for that right now.
I googled meetings close to where I live (I don’t drive) and there’s one almost next door to an off licence!!!
Meetings might be for future Lisa when I’m a bit more settled into sobriety
@M-be-free49 Aw I’m sorry for your loss I totally agree with you saying about wine (also my DOC) it doesn’t take the edge of grief. I’ve tried for also 8 years & I’m on square one emotionally speaking.
I’m sure they both are so proud of us My dad was an alcoholic & I’m sure he never wanted it to be passed down to me x
I get this, and was afraid of the same. But like @Just_Laura said, meetings are a huge support for me too.
I do the Recovery Dharma program (but have no criticism of AA) - and all of the meetings I go to are online (or hybrid) because I live in the boonies. In our meetings people often share helpful tidbits from other programs or from their therapy. And a lot of the time, drinking doesn’t even really come up! A lot of the shares are about the stuff of life that we used to turn to booze (or other DOC) to numb.
Also, many people on this app simply make a practice of being part of this community.
I’ve been in and out of addiction for a very long time. I’ve had good and bad experiences with therapists but found that when it worked it really worked. So much so it encouraged me to become a counselling therapist myself.
When i got sober therapy was in its youth i just went to AA and got a sponsor and never looked back ,my feeling are id rather have someone whos walked in my shoes not out a book ,but everyone to their own wish you well
For me that’s not quite how it works. Or just partly. My mental health and my sobriety are totally intertwined. I needed and still need my sober peeps, my fellow addicts, to remain sober, to share with and learn from, to support and be supported in my sobriety. I find that here. This is my support group.
At the same time sobriety has given me the opportunity to work on my mental health. I became addicted because I couldn’t cope with life, because I was messed up from an early age. And I ran from life by drugging and boozing. Becoming sober gave me the opportunity to really work on my problems, By going into therapy. And at the same time therapy helps me with not relapsing by working on the problems that made me drink in the first place.
I’ve done different forms of group therapy, and now, three years later, I still see an individual therapist once every fortnight. She’s specialized in treating childhood trauma and what’s interesting is that it might not be the specific therapy we do together, but instead me being able to have a safe attachment to her, which is so different form my experience in my early youth. And that in fact might be the main purpose of the therapy I’m doing with her now (although that’s up for debate in the therapist’s s world). And I would never have gotten here when I wouldn’t have done a crunching two years fo Schema group therapy and a year of Trauma group therapy first.
And by the way, therapists don’t have all their knowledge from books. Almost all of them have their own mental health problems. IMHO a treatment just for addiction problems will never be successful as (again, IMHO), there’s always other stuff that caused the addiction in the first place that needs addressing.
@Ray_M_C_Laren thank you, yes I think connecting over share issues, interests, problems is going to make a deeper more meaningful connection. I have several close people in my life who have agreed to be there for me, mainly my sister, who has grown up in a house with alcoholism too & understands. I check in with her every morning, afternoon & night (we did that anyway)
@M-be-free49 at the minute I’m feeling very vulnerable & haven’t been going outside much unless I have company (friend or family) I know this isn’t healthy but from reading the responses I think I could really benefit from meetings too. Along with all the rest of the things I’m doing to stay sober. I just don’t feel strong enough right now. This is why I thought some therapy with someone who specialises in addiction would help build me up. I think this community is amazing too 🩷
@anon68572606 wow! That’s amazing. I’m so glad you said that and I’m so glad you’re wanting to be a therapist. You can’t put a price on mental health 🩷
I’m just finding this out. I didn’t expect for me to quit drinking & everything to be plain sailing but jeez it was like being hit by the emotions train last week. I couldn’t cope. And the therapist say me in less that 24 hours of initial contract. I thought that was amazing.
Three years is absolutely amazing, well done & congrats. I think it’s so healthy & amazing that you have sought out a style of counselling that works for you & you’re seeing the benefits.
I have a lot of baggage, I know what it is, I don’t know how to fix it. I suppose drinking was a way of ignoring it. I can’t ignore it forever because I’ve known for the longest time that I’m not living my life.
One thing he said was (paraphrasing here) that those who use substances & become addicted tend to have some trauma & underlying issues, like pain or grief. For me that’s definitely the case. And you’re right the addiction needs addressing first.
It was for me at least. The advice I received on how to deal with my feelings of regret I still practice today. I’m sure actual one on one therapy with an educated professional will be even better! Glad you liked your therapist. I hope you are able to open up honestly with him and work together as a team to solve your troubles. All the best 
My dad was an alcoholic & I’m sure he never wanted it to be passed down to me x