If feel that my main problem has always been the social side of drinking, everything everyone i know,its all from drinking. How do i avoid it and still save a large chunk of my life. Am i going to have to lose friends and family, do i have to accept that to move on in a better life?
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The only changes I have made in my life is my mindset and the fact that im now a non drinker. I haven’t changed any friends or the places I go to. I did mostly like to drink alone in the evenings though, but I still spend that alone time I just spend it more constructively now. I didn’t want to change my life, just my drinking and it works for me but we are all different, spending time with friends out and about doesn’t trigger me, I still enjoy it. For me making changes that involved losing friends would have been a reason to cave more than not drinking around them. That being said though I choose my friends carefully, I have a few, real, close friends whose company I enjoy, that is it. If I was only seeing friends because of drinking it would be a different story. If they are close friends whose company you enjoy go for it, if they are only drinking acquaintances are they more important than your sobriety? I doubt it!
Do what you know will work for you
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Try this
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I found most of my friends and family didn’t care if I was drinking or not. There was a time I distanced myself because I didn’t trust myself to be around drinks without picking one up for myself. Nowadays I’m enjoying dinner and water with my friends and family all the time.
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One thing you’ll find in this process is just how many friends you had solely because of drinking. Alcohol was the only thing i had in common with some of my friends.when i stopped i lost some friends. Its inevitable but not earth shattering.
When you go out, just be aware of what you are comfortable with and listen to yoyrself
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Hi everyone, i just wanted to say everything here really hits home , have just found this app . Yep i went out last night and got drunk again! Missed work today because i felt so ill , have tried before to give up drinking but never managed longer than a week . Im so determined to do it now , its not fun anymore and impacting on my life . I cant remember half of last night and really need some help to stay sober. Its hard when your friends ask whether you are coming out the weekend i asked what they were doing and the answer i got was "drinking " !! Anyway i just wanted to say hello im Jo and im so glad i found this app 
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The only changes I have made in my life is my mindset and the fact that im now a non drinker. I
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Thanks Shell
Exactly this. Change your mindset. Also, I didn’t go anywhere for the first couple of months. It meant staying at home for Christmas. So what! My sobriety was that much more important. If your friends are real friends then they will understand. If you have to change your life then so be it. The important thing is that you stay sober.
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Thanks guys for the input, im just starting to question aspects of my life that i didnt realise were causing set backs, it looks like a drastic change will mean friends will have to move on, but im sure in my new growth that better people will come into my life
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Thank you Jennajen . Xx
I call it the price of admission; the things we have to let go of in order to grow.
I wouldn’t say I’ve lost friends, but I’ve certainly moved on. I’d be more than happy to continue a friendship if they ever wanted to move on too. As for family, it’s different with some, others not so much.
Getting sober really does make you evaluate your friends and lifestyle. You really don’t realize how much alcohol is engrained in your life and everything you do or every decision you make until you quit.
I had a hard time accepting that “this is life now”, especially by my own volition; it’s a lot easier to accept change when it’s forced upon you. This community made it easier to accept this change, because everyone here had gone through the same.
I think the difficulty in acceptance is really just fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success. It’s ok to be afraid, we all were, and those who have conquered the fear will say there is nothing to be afraid of, really.
Anyways, of all the difficult truths to accept, one of the most important is that it’s OK not to drink.
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I’ve found it’s a personal mindset thing. How do I not drink at a concert? When I look around, most people are not. Or just having one. Only I would pay $20 for a double whiskey…
Anyway. I would not go to anything social where the main event is drinking. Take away the booze and it’s extremely boring.
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Quitting drinking was a very quick lesson on who was and who was not a real friend. My real friends were very supportive and my drinking buddies are still out there drinking but without me. At first I was sad and felt dejected when I’d see old drinking buddies having a grand old time on social media pics. But I got over it. I know what those times meant for me— nights I would never remember.
For me, the only way to avoid social drinking, was stay out of bars and old haunts were I drank. Otherwise, I would just have been tempting fate and setting myself up to drink again. When I quit drinking, I cut out my bar nights for the first six months or so. It hurt at first. I loved bars and I loved getting shitfaced. And I was really, really good at it. And if I had sat my ass back in a bar shortly after quitting, I would have been right back at it again in no time.
After six months of sobriety, I was stronger in my decision not to drink. Not drinking had become a lot more normal for me and I didn’t feel pressure to drink: external or internal. But I also realized that for the first time in oh so long, I no longer wanted to be in dark, crappy dive bars.
I developed new hobbies. Found better things to do with my time and better ways to spend time with my real friends.
At 4 years and 7 months sober, I walk past the bars I used to love without even thinking about them.
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Understanding the difference between my friends and drinking buddies was something I had to find out too. My social life was basically getting drunk so it took a bit of time and thinking for me to untangle those things.
I go out a lot less now and the types of things I do are different, more day time activities than staying up all night in a crowded bar. This weekend I’m going back to my hometown to catch up with some of my friends I went to school with. I did a lot of wild partying with them but they’re genuine friends, so it will be nice. Different though - we will go for a meal rather than just drinks and I will probably be home by 9pm 
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Thanks, I wanted to go into rehab, just to get away from everyone who enable me. I chose to just stay home, and not attend the hundreds of dinners and parties until i am strong enough to say no thanks.