Something about my life

Okay, I’m shy and this i though for me…
I’ll start at 2010 when I was 14 years old, my friend drowned. And it was a trigger. Every mistake in my life, every bad situation was trigger to drink. My feelings was…oh they was in mess. I wanted to end my pathetic life. I tried 4 times. But than I realized that drinking makes me calm.
After that I started to drink heavily. Stress, work after school it was fine - while I was drunk. Sober me is not me. I don’t know myself and I hate my sober personality. I will be honest, I like taste of vodka. This biter thing…oh…
I don’t have friends or anyone to talk. My fiance left me. My life is in complete mess.
I can be sober but for few hours or days. I can’t get over with my thoughts.
Sorry for mistakes in language.
Please reply.

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Welcome @GirlFromStore

@GirlFromStore welcome to the community!

I hope you find the app as useful as many of us.

Hi again @GirlFromStore. Thank you for sharing these scenes from your life. Sorry to hear about your loss and what you’ve gone through. This forum is safe and anonymous and nonjudgemental. Trolls and mean people are flagged and sent away, so don’t worry.

It sounds like “sober you” has never really had a chance. That person won’t show up days or weeks after stopping, but maybe after months or years, and after working hard on re-building your life, only then you will see who sober you actually is.

If you commit to quitting, this forum is great, but also add in all the support you can get such as inpatient/outpatient programs, AA or other meetings, mediation, reading and videos . There is so much out there!

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