Now that drinking doesn’t have space in my life, I am noticing that I have no life of my own. I’m a dad of 4 kids 50% of the time and have been re-partnered now for 4 years (moved in together 2 years ago almost).
I am almost 49 and it’s become clear that I really don’t have any friends. Besides gym and running I don’t really leave home. I work from home full time, which has its perks but I don’t have a social life I can call my own. I would like to volunteer maybe but I don’t know how to make friends or help people.
I am just letting this out for you all to read and see what comes back. Peace to you all!!
I was the same way. For me, one of the biggest benefits (outside of recovery) of being in a recovery group…was being around people. It taught me how to be around people as a sober person. It opened up doors.
I always looked at recovery programs as purely “help me not drink”. It goes far past that.
Totally get this - its harder when you work from home cause you don’t even have your “work” socializing to turn to.
Like Scott mentioned - try to find one or more recovery programs / groups. Here you will find like minded people also finding ways to socialize without the booze.
Volunteering is great - you don’t know how much you can offer until you try. Maybe go to the youth center and see what they may need? It would be great to be a positive role model for the younger generation
Not sure if you have available in your area but you may want to sign up for some meet up’s. I found a great group of friends from a knitting and a hiking meet up. I honestly did not know it would be possible to make lasting connections in adulthood – it is possible and so wonderful.
Wishing you much love on your journey - grateful you are here with us!
I feel this too. I was a shy kid who found alcohol to socialize, and then I was very social for many years. Now I’ve withdrawn back into myself with sobriety.
I’m coming up on two years this winter so I will set myself a goal to step back out more socially when that hits. I’m also hoping to be ready to move from an abstinence program which is what I’ve been doing on my own to a recovery program.
I also fall into the “soon” trap as in I will make this change soon. Eh, know thyself.
From one quiet person to another I salute you, from the privacy of my home. It sounds like you might be ready to challenge yourself socially too. All the best.
