So I have a sponsee and I asked her to call me every day. She isn’t and then complains about her lack of emotional sobriety. There’s no problem with her staying sober. She has that nailed. I’ve called her recently, but she isn’t reciprocating. Any suggestions other than just let it go? 
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Don’t know. Maybe she is not able to set her boundaries yet. If somebody would ask me to call him/her daily (sponsor or not) I would be like hmmm, it might be suffocating. My suggestion would be just to ask her and focus on what she needs or not.
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If my sponsees don’t reach out I assume they don’t want to be sponsored
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As a sponsor it’s up to me to be available and of service to my sponsee. Answer when called, share what got and keeps me sober, and how to apply the steps.
Up to the sponsee to take or leave what’s offered. Part of getting sober, really. And not everything I suggest might be helpful.
I like the question, “And how’s that working out for you…?” 
Half snarky, half serious. For all I know they’re just going through it differently than I did.
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Thanks, at this point I’m trying to help her reach out to other AA members, too. Isolation is troublesome and a lonely path to follow, just trying to help her.
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If I take a problem to my sponsor the first thing he asks is if I prayed. The second thing is if I called someone else in the program
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I broke up with my sponsor because she demanded I call her everyday. There were other issues as well. It just wasn’t a good fit. The relationship needs to work for both involved with proper boundaries in place.
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I have come across the same thing a sponsee of mine. I also was trying to do the “lead by example” which was turning into enabling so it has stopped. I have spoken to my sponsor and other women in the program with significant time this is what was suggested to me.
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Instead of say “call everyday” say “call tomorrow” then when they do, " thanks for the check in give me a call tomorrow" and so on… break it down to 24 hrs at a time for this individual.
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instead of me coming up with what I want her to do, allow her to tell me what she is capable of doing. Then if she falls through… well it was her idea.
I will say that in my case neither of the above approaches have worked so I have just today decided " Let go let god" for now…
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Is it possible she’s just not a phone person? I’d rather put a cigarette out in my eyeball than talk on the phone. Maybe text or email might be more comfortable initially?
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O M G…funniest darn thing I have read…I hate talking on the phone and I now have a way to express it!
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THANK YOU!!! I am not a phone person, either, and can barely talk to my own mother for long on the phone. I need to find the AA text only group 
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Yep, people who chit-chat on the phone for pleasure, what is that?
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Staying on topic, for time distance reasons, my sponsor and I talk weekly, mail daily. But from the beginning both were open about what we wanted and expected. I guess a talk about expectations would be good? I think there should be some flexibility and adjustment. But it is a little frustrating she is complaining. I feel supported with what we do.
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Just let her know she can call at anytime to talk about whatever she needs work on, as far as emotional sobriety we all learn how to deal with our emotions like our addictions one day at a time. Ive been fired by sponsors for not doing what they asked but i always found my way back attended more meetings and found one that works well for me. Cant take it to heart if sponsees distance themselves as long as they dont fall away from the program. Like thowing out a life preserver we take the initiative to get it out to them but they need do their part and grab hold not let go.
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Not an addiction related example, but I run the stewardship ministry at my church. I teach classes on basic hosehold/personal finance, and do individual budget counseling.
I used to get angry and frustrated when people wouldn’t show up for class, or would show up for a 1-on-1 unprepared, or not show up at all.
I almost quit the ministry. Then my higher-power spoke to me and said “You counsel the ones that actually show up, and leave it to me to get them to show up. I’m working on them on my schedule, not yours Steve.”
So that’s what I do. I also realized that this is a winnowing process. Some will commit and be successful. Some will try, but lack the commitment to follow through. Some won’t even try and will be consumed by the not changing their behaviors, or their hearts.
Sorta like sobriety…
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Yes exactly this was what my sponsee stated and she came up with " I will check in via text. "
crickets
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All of your responses were right on target. Thanks so much and Yes, texting would be fine, too. I certainly don’t push her, that wouldn’t work for me and my sponsor either. I don’t contact my sponsor every day, either. So there’s that.
Again, thanks so much for giving me another perspective. I knew this community would be helpful. 
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