Guys I’m pretty new here. I keep having to start over. My son and I recently (one week ago) moved back into my parents home after being on my own for almost 30 years. My dad has early stage dementia and he attempted suicide back in March. Things are mostly ok now but I came here to save money and to help them out because dad is losing his capacities and mom can’t manage it all, physically, mentally, or emotionally. I did this for a lot of good reasons but I feel kind of like a failure living here.
I know the only way I can do this right is sober. I know this but it’s so hard. There is so much going on and every day I think just one more day, I give myself justifications but those can last forever if I let them. I’m afraid to go through the difficult emotions, I think that’s my biggest fear. To feel it. I just needed to write this, I could use some support. I love reading all your posts and comments, it really helps!
Welcome! I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. My dad also has dementia but he’s mostly functioning right now. You are in the right place, there is such a supportive community here. I know it feels like a step back but you are making a big difference by being there and helping support your parents. Just focus on your sobriety. I find quit lit and podcasts to be very helpful in early days. And keep checking in here
Thank you so much I really appreciate your response. I know this is the right thing to do it’s just not what I thought my life was going to look like. Can you recommend any specific books or podcasts? I have the AA book and Russel Brands recovery book that’s it so far. Thank you
So many good books! My favourites: Dry: a memoir, Nothin Good Can Come from This, Drinking: a love story, Quit like a Woman, The Recovering, My Fair Junkie, Blackout: remembering the things I drank to forget, Mindful Recovery, This Naked Mind, High Sobriety, Running Ransom Road, Drink: the intimate relationship between women and alcohol, The Night of the Gun.
For podcasts: recovery elevator, she recovers, this naked mind. I also tried the alcohol experiment from Annie Grace. It’s on her website this naked mind. It’s a guided 30 day challenge to rethink your relationship with alcohol.
Welcome. I lived with my parents for a few years but hustled and worked everything including delivering newspapers and now I’m working sales, which is actually pretty nice after you get the hang of it. Don’t give up; stick with it. Try to stay grounded and find something you’re grateful for every day - it will help you see the value even in the moments that seem like failures (at least, on the surface: finding something to be grateful for will help turn that around).
Don’t feel like a failure. Think of it as being the perfect time to help your parents who need you right now. You have a chance to give something back for all the years they have you and your son can benefit from being close to his grandparents. The fact that it’s helping you and him is a bonus. You all get to gain from this time together. Once that time has gone, you can never get it back so choose to think of it positively.
I too had to move back in with my parents this past year because the housing market right now has skyrocketed. I too have slipped into drinking much more since I have been back. When I was on my own I did t drink nearly as much but here it’s in the garage fridge and free to who ever so it’s so much harder to not attempt to go and grab that beer after a long day of work or a bad mental day at home. I have two young boys and one who is picking up on my drinking. I am only 3 days sober. And I can’t promise I won’t go and grab that beer in a few days but I’m taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME and trying to fill my free time with painting blogging reading and I found this zoom aa meeting and it’s been nice to drop in and listen to people’s stories. I’m here to talk as I’m new to this community as well!
Ugh, yes I totally get it. My mom has a sign in her kitchen that says “It’s 5:00 somewhere!!” Great job on 3 days! I messed up again yesterday and had to start over. I’m having trouble with no being at rock bottom but still knowing if he so much better off sober.
