Hi everyone,
It’s almost 2 years since my third attempt getting clean and sober. The longest I have managed is 4 months in maybe 6 years of trying. And here I am again desperate to get it right and stay in the wagon! I’m at my wits end. I really thought I managed to control my drinking and get to socially acceptable level. But here I am again. After causing a lot of trouble for me and my family because of my drinking. I just don’t know how to get it’ll right 
. I’m desperate.
What have you tried so far?
Hi @Rich1
Are you abstaining from alcohol entirely or are you trying to control your intake? This sounds like you are trying to limit your intake?
How desperate? I know what that meant for me. It meant inpatient rehab, IOP, therapy, AA every day, moving into sober living, getting a sponsor and working the steps.
I stopped making excuses. I stopped thinking i knew best. I stopped following my own advice and started listening to people who had gotten sober. I did what they did now I have what they offered. A life beyond my wildest dreams
I’m trying to stop completely again. I think I’m just kidding myself thinking I can control my intake. I always end up in the same place whether it’s been 6 months or 2 years. I’m in a mess again I’ve almost lost everything again.
You cannot control your drinking, I can say this because I know, because I am the same . It is not possible to control it so we must quit completely and accept that that is the only option we have.
Have you tried any meetings or anything to support your sobriety? Coming here for help is a great start. Lots to learn here and plenty of people who have been where you are now.
Things like rehab aren’t available to me unless I pay for it. Which I can’t do. This has been a 6 year journey for me. I’ve been sectioned. Lived in a council house with nothing to my name no job no friends because of drinking and drugs. I’ve gotten to really good places in the past with it and managed to scrape my life back but I keep ending up here. I’ve caused so much damage again.
So of all the things I suggested you focused on the one thing you won’t do and completely ignored all the other? Sounds like you have plenty of excuses. Anyway, I can either wish you good luck, or the willingness to do whatever is necessary to get sober.
I’ve never tried meetings. The thought of them scares me. I can’t imagine standing up in front of a room of strangers and talking like that. I just don’t think I’d ever be able to do it. I do have support from a partner and some family tho. But I fear their patience is growing thin…
I didn’t ignore the others. I just mentioned the only one i haven’t done. I’m not making excuses. I’m only just starting again. 2 days in. I was just looking for some friendly motivation and advice. Not made to feel worse. But thank you for yours advice and well wishes.
You’ve been given advice and you figured out a way to say why you won’t do the things.
You won’t do meetings, you won’t do rehab.
So what are you willing to do?
I feel like you’re very confrontational for absolutely no reason. As I said I’m only just starting again and just trying to get my head straight and figure things out. I appreciate you taking the time to try and give some advice. But I don’t think I’ll benefit from anything you have say. Thank again for your input. Good luck on your journey.
To be fair Derek rehab here in the UK does cost ridiculous amounts of money unfortunately it wasnt an option when i got sober either, i would have gone to meetings if id had to tho… @Rich1 do you know your reasons for drinking/drugging?
I understand want your saying. But everybody’s different I’m not a confident person at all and I have considered meetings in the past but can never be brave enough to take that step. It’s not because I’m not desperate enough or making excuses it’s just fear. Maybe in the future I could find a way to make that step? I don’t know. The reason for my drinking/drugging has always been for the same reason. Escape. When things get too hard or overwhelming or even if I just have a bad day I just nose dive into it.
I didnt go to meetings i found my own way, what English is saying is that if your desperate to get sober you will do anything necessary to attain it. Getting and staying sober is hard, really hard… youve got to really look hard at yourself and your core reasons for drinking and find other ways to deal with life instead of sinking down a bottle because once you start drinking you cant control it then as you well know its game over.
What about online meetings? That‘s how I eased my way into a recovery program.
Your right. Maybe I am in a bit of a self pity pit. I have a good relationship with my GP I think I’ll start there. Thank you for the gentle Kick up the arse. I really am ready to go on this journey again and get it right. Thank you.
I wasn’t aware that was a thing. That’s something I would definitely consider. Thank you.
Online is a good option. If you download the app Everything AA there is a meeting section that has tons of online meetings. I’ve only been to a couple myself but it will help you see you are not alone, you might get something useful from it. I’m not religious but you take what you need from it, whatever helps you, even if it’s just some connection to others and their experiences.
Thats ok, we are all here for you…we all understand what its like…one of the many reasons people find meetings helpful is to have a community of people to talk to that understand what addiction is like but you can use this place to do the same thing…just dont try to struggle on alone because we all need each other…the opposite of addiction is connection.