Starting over again #5

6 days sober and it didnt take much to relapse. I have a list of AA meetings so I will be looking into going and hope to find one i can deal with. Scared of the unknown I guess. This must be that uncomfortable feeling I keep reading all of you talk about.
I am not big on the holding others hands as I dont like others touching me. So this shall be interesting.
Wish I had this great long post to write but right now just kinda numb to everything. I know it was my choice i know i am the only one at fault. Accepting fault has never been an issue. Dealing with reality is. But if I dont start now I am going to lose everything I have worked so hard for. Some things are not worth losing. The emotions I am hiding from by drinking to suppress them I need to finally deal with. Loss hurt betrayal anger. I need to control them instead of them constantly controlling me.
Thanks for lessioning.

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Well, you don’t have to hold hands or share if you don’t want to, so that’s two less things to worry about. I do recommend talking to people after the meeting and raising your hand to get some phone numbers

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Awww @Nikkicar! Well I’m a hugger, so I can’t help but virtually hug you right now :hugs: it’s ok. Keep trying. My guess is most people dipped their toes into sobriety, before making that giant cannonball leap of faith.

One of these attempts will stick. If you can quit before you lose everything, that’s incredible! For me, still having some ‘things’ allowed me to justify my drinking. I’d think, ‘I’ve still got my job, my guy, so I can’t be that bad’…it didn’t stick for me long-term, until I had nothing left. Literally. No job, no marriage, no apartment, no money. Nothing. That’s when I threw my hands up and dove in to sobriety.

Give it some thought. Head to a meeting. You can stand back from the hand holding or conveniently use the restroom at that time. Share when you’re ready. Listening & looking for similarities will help. Looking into the faces of people who’ve been where you are is powerful, hopeful and gives you strength to make the plunge :heart:

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Good plan to nix the 6 before it happens.

Like @Englishd said, dont have to hold hands. Don’t have to say the lord’s prayer. Don’t have to share. Don’t have to donate. Hell you don’t even have to stay the whole time.

Give it a shot and see how it goes. You’ve never been, may have heard things from others, just let it roll and formulate your own opinion.