i’m still hungover from new year’s eve and feeling a bit demoralized realizing i need to quit drinking again. when i first quit- my goal was not to drink for a year- which i accomplished. but not long after that year ended, i started up again and 3 months later realized i couldn’t handle my drinking. 3 months after that i was in my mom’s basement drinking a beer. this past year i think i took a 1 month break and just sort of gave up on the idea. i got tired of telling my friends i have a drinking problem, quitting, and then starting again. it just felt more realistic to succumb to the fact that i enjoy booze, it helps me- it’s like a performance enhancing drug. but soon i find myself either a bit manic or hungover all the time. i’m surrounded by so many ppl who drink heavily and it’s so normalized to do so… it’s been hard for me to decide if i actually have a problem, if i actually want to give up drinking. today i think i do… i’d like to feel better and trust myself.
First off, welcome to the TS family @choosingme. Congrats on listening to your inner values screaming the words “help me”.
Addiction wouldn’t be such a huge issue if we could all just choose to quit and never go back. What you’re going through is the cycle of addiction. The important part to focus on is that you’re aware you need to quit.
When we pick up a bicycle for the first time many cannot just become a pro rider instantly. It takes picking it up getting on riding it and falling, sometimes harder than others. But then we pick the bike back up and try again.
The fact that you have chosen to be where you are now is a gigantic step forward. Give yourself some credit, while you remain patient, compassionate and empathetic with yourself.
It’s not an easy road ahead and this is why we take it one moment/step at a time. We always have a choice, even when we decide to not make a choice in those moments.
This community is great, make sure to use the search function on the home page to search relevant topics to you.
This should tell you, yes you have a drinking problem.
And this i promise you is only gonna get a lot worse as it progresses. I always liked it and I always thought it got me through problems. Until it became the biggest problem and cause of all the other ones, whether I knew it or not. Think about how you feel now, and decide whether you want this to be the last time you feel this way.
thanks for this feedback, J. i compare my drinking to my dad’s which seems way worse and destructive than my own. but i guess my ability to function better than my dad has isn’t necessarily proof that alcohol isn’t hurting me.
Our journeys may be unique to us, but there are so many different similarities. You’re truly not alone, and what you’re feeling right now, many of us have been there too.
One of the greatest things I’ve learned is that it is so important to tell our stories (when safe, comfortable to do so, and also ready) as it has multiple benefits. Not only did it allow me to shed my old skin and the shame, guilt, and other inner feelings I held onto, but when I got meetings and hear what others share, it grows my understanding, compassion, and empathy for myself and others. The impacts that others stories have for me brings growth in unimaginable ways.
Hi welcome can i start by saying thanks for sharing as my journey was alot like yours i used to think drink was a magic cure to everything shyness boom drink, depressed boom drink got in a fight with wife …yep u guessed it boy did i drink , the thing is at the time i thought it was normal everyone has a bender now and again right ? Everyone stays up for 24 hrs drinking every last drop of booze in the house right ? Everyone gets angry or an asshole right ? Whats that they dont oh …maybe i have a problem. And thats when it got real saying what others were thinking , but what to do about it i cant give up my friend the thing thats always been there got me through shit since i was 14 years old. But i had a choice to make give up 1 thing and have everything or do one thing and lose everything including myself.
Its not an easy road as people have said ive had slips but am currently on 99 days and also did 89 days before last relapse but i can honestly say life is better ive found myself again , yes shit happens but i deal with things sober now and its such a differnce.
So be honest with yourself like you have and get the help you need its not weak in fact its one of the bravest things a person can do.
Good luck
Do you drink when you have told yourself you wouldn’t? Do you get drunk when you don’t mean to? Do you feel afraid of our of control about your drinking?
Late at night, when I was drinking almost automatically, and I did not want to do so, I felt a deep depression and a fear but I just drank that away too.
Welcome! I sure hope you stick around and join in. When I first joined and started participating actively I finally had the community that I didn’t realized I was needing. That’s what made the difference for me and my ability to stay sober, then continue to work on a broader recovery. You’re in the right place to find your way, too. Glad you’re here.
Booze is enjoyable. That is why there are tons of addicts in the world. It is fun and it is built to become something you enjoy so much that you crave that release again and again.
I started re-evaluating my alcohol use shortly after I started drinking but it took me 20+ years to realize that I am an alcoholic. No one can choose that label for you but you.
There is hours of info on this site and tons of people who have had the same thoughts as you. Welcome! Read around.
You pretty my much described my 30’s. I spent the decade stuck in a “do I/don’t I have a problem” loop; on days where I was hungover I did, then 4 days later I didn’t.
I flirted with sobriety also, few days here, few weeks there. The longest I went was 2 months.
Eventually, as expected and on time, my drinking got worse. It got to the point where it was exhausting to drink. It took more and more work to keep it going. I didn’t like it anymore and it was seriously taking a toll on my body, mind and spirit.
It took me a while, but I got there and I found that sober is better, maybe you will find the same.
Hey Liv! Starting over myself with own sobriety journey and it is hard, but we have this! You and I must just remind ourselves of own power, worth and strength! Drugs and booze are tough to kick, but we are tougher! I hope 2024 treats you well and I hope you and I can find the peace and contentment we deserve
The fact you have to ask this usually tells the tale and the fact you found yourself on a sobriety app probably means you want to stop.
We all think drink and drugs or any addiction makes life better and then suddenly it doesn’t. It becomes the thing that is holding us back from who we really are and with a few life lessons here and there and a different solution to our problems other than our DOC the possibilities to who we can become are endless.
It’s a new year who do you want to be by the end of it
I wish you well on your journey.
yep! i’m 37! my body simply can’t recover from the partying like it used to… and playing around like i’m still a kid is starting to take its toll on my self-esteem as well.
There was a clear point where my colleagues stopped partying all the time and started taking life a little more seriously, and there I was, with a lampshade on my head… I must have missed the memo that it was time to grow up.
I tried to do day one yesterday but didn’t make it. So far today I’m good. I will be happy next week when I can say I’ve gone a week. My birthday is Friday so gotta get past that. You’re motivating me. Thanks
