Hello everybody, my name is Cari, and I am an addict.
I am in my mid 40’s, divorced, children are both grown and moved out begining their lives out there in the real world. Good luck kids, you got this. I believe in you both today, and everyday.
Today i have been clean for 5 months, 1 week, and 4 days. Tbh i couldn’t be more proud of myself then I am today. I have been here (recovery) one to many times, always to return to drugs/alcohol.
However I made a promise to myself (for once) and am committed to recovery more today then ever before.
Every choice I have made this year I made and accomplished on my own, with no help from family or friends. Aside from my boyfriend/ex husband, and youngest child.
If not for them I believe I’d be 6 feet under right now.
To make what could possibly be an extremely long story, I’ll do my best to cut it down.
Ok, so…I grew up in the upper mid west, with just me, my mom and only sibling (sister) who was just 2 years older then I.
Our father was killed back in 1981. (Another story in its self) I was only 3 at the time so unfortunately I have zero memory for him.
Growing up life was for the most part normal. Sorry but I’m going to jump a head to the last 8 years as those are what bring me here.
The year is 2016, it was a new year, and right off the bat my best friend/childhood best friend, lost her sister who to me was also like a second sister. She was only 38 years old and a newly wed. That was in January, then I lost one of my uncles in April, and to top it all off my mother lost her battle to CHF ( Congestive heart disease/failure). She was only 65.
Watching and dealing with my mom dying sent me into a very bad depression where I nearly took my own life. However I moved away for 2 years, just to come back and return to drugs and some drinking (not everyday at this time) however my sister was so happy i was home that she and i started doing drugs together, again.
Jump to the year 2020. March, of all months, (my birthday month) and my sister is diagnosed with stage 4 lung/hip cancer.
She lost her short battle from it just 8 weeks later. Still can’t believe it. This sent me to a place I ruly never want to be again. Drugs and alcohol became a daily thing, one that ultimately caused me to “fall out” if you will. Aka die from heroine, that happened 3 times before I finally said enough. So far, so good. I am clean, happy, healthy, and employed making enough money to happily support myself. My ex and I are doing better as boyfriend/ girlfriend then we ever were married.
I came a long way, and learned lessons I never thought I needed to know. I now take each day as a blessing, and can finally look myself in the mirror and be proud of who I see looking back at me.
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Thank you, just hearing you say theae kind words, bring a tear to my eye. I’ve become somewhat of a cry baby these days. Lol it don’t take much to get me to cry anymore. But thanks again. You most definitely will see me around more often.
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