For those of you also in recovery. How hard is it for y’all to stay sober with friends and family who are still using around you? How are you individuals able to say no. I know in my case saying no is easy in a way. Seeing others be hypocritical is hard to deal with as well. I’ll share more of my store later on.
It’s not easy. But can be done. I carefully avoid many situations or put myself in a situation of complete control where I can leave quickly if needed. My inlaws ALL drink heavily and I try pretty hard to make my family encounters minimal. They all know I’m in recovery but don’t really care. At least they don’t get pushy.
When i first got sober, i steered clear of anyone drinking. As i got more confident and the cravings went away, i allowed myself to be around others who were drinking, but i always had a plan. I made sure the host knew i wasn’t drinking, i kept a soda or water in my hand at all times, i kept myself busy with helping with food or activities and i always had an escape plan. No shame in bowing out quietly and gracefully if i got uncomfortable. If I’m hosting an event, guest are allowed to bring their own alcoholic beverages, but i do not buy any or keep them in my home. They MUST take any leftovers with them when they leave. So far, this has worked for me. Thankfully, most of my family and friends are low key drinkers- special occasions. My drinking “friends” haven’t been around since i got sober
Hi and welcome here on this forum
For me I avoided people, places and events that included alcohol the first 3 months ore so of my recovery. Later on I did go to such places ore friends but always made a plan like what am I going to drink when they ask me for it ore what am I going to say when someone ask why I do not drink? I also made a escape plan for when cravings kicks in too bad and I would like to leave. I never had to use it but it was comforting to have a good reason in hand when I wanna leave so I do not have to feel stressed about it.
My parner drinks but is a “normie” so he can drink 1 ore 2 glasses and that’s it. In the beginning of my sobraty he quit also to help me. Now he drinks now and then and I’m fine with that because I have a long stretch of sober days and stronger in my recovery.
My brother was a heavy drinker when I quit and pushed me to start drinking again. I had to be very direct and firm to him. But since then he knows why he cannot offer me any drinks.
Yoo, this is one of my issues with my family. They stressed so much and kinda forced me to seek help the first time. I had to move out to my sisters house for a bit because I kept runing into the same problems here at home. I remember very vividly the night I returned. 30 days sober, driving in the rain and feeling excited to see my family…they were ALL drunk when I got home…all they said was “awwww you can’t have any!” I remember just going to my room and having a small meltdown. But I quickly got my together and remembered that I’m the one with the problem here and they shouldn’t have to change their lifestyle just because I can’t handle myself. Now when they have these events I focus my time on my nephews and spend a lot of time with them…making memories without alcohol or drugs.
But, I still feel some type of way when my family offers me “one drink” I don’t think they understand the gravity of that ONE drink. But other than that. They “support” me. * *
I’d like to chime in a welcome
I got sober and my husband still drinks. It was extremely difficult at first, I had many relapses, but now in my current frame of mind, I really know I’m committed to staying sober no matter what, and it is actually a relief not to be thinking about drinking all the time, like I once was. I used to struggle with the “why can’t I drink like a normal person?” I used to resent him for drinking when I “couldn’t “ Those feelings are gone now . And I am so much happier.