Spent a good few hours reading through the step 4 literature and setting the format to writing my fearless and moral inventory with my sponsor this morning
Spent a good portion of the afternoon writing down all the Hurts / Resentments people have caused me- I’ve only just touched the surface so far. It’s so interesting looking at it from an outside perspective looking at the parts I’ve played in them all
The Harms I’ve caused others will take the longest as there are a lot of them.
Prob most people struggle Darren , your sponsor will assure you that your doing ok . you are now cleaning the slate on your past and being fearless you should be ok WISH YOU WELL
Step four takes a lot of courage and honesty with yourself. I congratulate you on your beginning journey of soul searching and self-awareness. Steps 4 and 5 are truly liberating.
Just remember Darren one day at a time, one hour at a time and even some days, one breath at a time is what it takes to get through the day. You will have some days that just being okay is good enough. Wishing you well Darren in your journey of sobriety. But for the grace of God go I…
Oh yeah. My sponsor had me doing this one part at a time which really helped, not thinking about my part till after I got all the resentments down, for example.
That’ll probably be different sponsor to sponsor.
In any case, a helpful reminder from mine (the whole fellowship, really), it’s good to be thorough. But it also probably won’t be our last inventory, so just get down as much as you can and don’t fret. Can always come back and add more.
One thing I’ve noticed with any kind of real progress in this life is that it requires humility. If you’re proud, you’ll just keep stumbling and spiralling until you’re finally humble (or dead).
My hat is off to all of you good folks that have humbled yourselves and submitted to doing the hard work.
I’ve just about finished. 30 odd pages worth. Meeting with my sponsor next week as struggling with the correct character defects which relate to my harms
From the looks of it they’re mostly around
Ego
Pride
Lust
Self importance
Greed
Basically I’m an arrogant and selfish prick and when I drink think I am Casanova with women