I’ve been group secretary at my home group for approximately four years, recently there has been conflict with others and certain people undermining what I do / gossiping so feel it’s time for me to step away, the treasurer is also stepping down.
I kept the meeting open during COVID and have offered a lot of service / done a lot for the meeting.
The meeting has grown and we now get high numbers every Saturday evening.
I don’t feel it’s benefiting my recovery anymore and it makes me feel anxious / overwhelmed, I feel like I’m responsible for everybody and if I’m not there it goes to pot and there conflict. I have to sometimes work / have a young family so cannot always attend - so have a couple of other key holders
We’ve had a group conscience and I’ve let my feelings known and said I want to step down and we need the two positions - group secretary / treasurer (needing a minimum of 2 years continuous sobriety)
Nobody is coming forward and willing to take on either roll even though they’ve had 2 weeks
Issues:
I feel compelled to carry on and do everything otherwise the meeting will close (this has been running for over 30 years)
I feel responsible / like it will impact others if it closes
I feel resentments towards those not willing to help out
I feel like others are calling my bluff thinking I’ll just carry on
What are others views on this? Thanks in anticipation
Just my views, service is what it says on the tin we are there to do our bit whilst putting our own feelings aside BUT and it’s a big BUT no one should be holding any position for 4 years and there should be more rotation at least every 6 months. AA has no leaders and new comers need to be encouraged to offer to do service to help in their own recovery.
Seems like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Your higher power will give you what you need and not always what you want.
4 years seems like entirely too much. The spirit of rotation is needed in all groups.
My home group positions are 2 years, except for leading meetings which are 3 months.
Sounds like a really challenging situation. I’d be tempted to walk away and see where the chips fall so to speak. I’ve been told meetings will run just fine whether I’m there doing service or not. They’ve done it without me in the past and will continue if I choose to leave.
Do what’s best for you and your sobriety. We all change over time and maybe it’s time to start a new chapter in your AA life.
yip had this happen a few times ,when it did i just went and started another meeting in a different hall.just make sure your sobriety is safe , maybe these guys need to read the traditions wish you well
If you are okay with just leaving all the materials at the group conscience meeting, they will figure it out pretty quickly. Of course, that might mean that you would find a new home group if you could not handle it being awkward.
If you have a sponsee, that person might be a nearby candidate.
If it is the sobriety requirement, as @Conor80 suggests, then a group decision to shorten it will be in order. I’ve been able to rotate through a bunch of different service positions, at the Area, District, and group levels. I have walked away from at least one because no-one else wanted it - within a week somebody had stepped up.
Honestly, you need to look out for you.
You’ve done a tremendous service and now its time to hand the baton on.
Id wish everyone well on Saturday and say its your last meeting and move onto the next stage of sobriety. Its their responsibility to sort it out then.
Sorry to hear about how this is going. It is sad to see disunity.
If the only reason something continues to exist is because it has existed for a long time, then that’s a problem. I don’t think “it’s been around ___ years” is a good reason on its own for something to continue. (Is that the only reason? Is there no other reason?)
It might, but sometimes change is good too. There are other meetings, and anyone who wants to find sobriety will find it. AA is all over the place. All it takes is two or three people who want to meet, and that’s an AA group (tradition 3). Some shake-up or splits might be good.
Understandable.
So what?
I notice all the issues start with “I”. What does that mean? (Edit to add: I realize this sounds blunt. That’s ok with me. Questions are good.)
Although I’m not familiar with how AA groups work, it does sound like it’s time for a change. If there’s no one willing to pick up the responsibility, it’s not on you. It’s easier to criticise from behind the sidelines than to actually step up and carry the responsibility like you have. If there’s so much disunity, it could be that the group has outlived it’s due date already. But even that is not on you.
