Hello, this is my story…:
I start drinking and smoking since 16 (now I’m 30). It was more like social drinking in weekends. Now (and then…) it’s became a problem. I’m still drinking, usually alone (same time starting smoke cigarettes/weed) once a day weekend, but sometimes 2, 3 day’s in the row. And on hangover days I’m feeling sad, guilty, usually I’m spending 2-3 days in the bedroom, after 3 day’s I’m start feel much better, starting cleaning, eating healthy, do business, after 5 days sober go to the gym, starting communicating with friends and usually in day 8-10 (when I’m starting live normal happy life) I’m always finding excuse/celebration or some persons offer to make a “mini” party. In that moment I feeling so good and don’t worry, even don’t believe that couple drinks or one cigarette/weed can turn into 3 day’s hardcore. And again same circle: 1-3 days posing my life, 1-3 days depressed in bedroom, 6-10 days normal life, especially in this 2020 years. In 2020 I lost my love, broken relationships with some friends, destroyed car, banned from driving, last weekend lost my phone. Today is day 4 without alcohol and day 2 without weed.
Welcome to the neighborhood! Lots of us here have done the same thing. That circle is hard to break but you can do it. Have you tried new hobbies? Or changed up your routine? The people you share time with? Thats helped me a lot. Keep pushing! You deserve it
Thank you.
“when your brain kicks in and tells you” - probably in my system left those drugs (alcohol, weed, tabaco…) and some brain cells still asking more, I must drink more water and do cardio. New year’s it’s coming, it will be tough but I will stay sober.
I’m always thinking that it’s easy to stop, but when I’m reaching that anomaly point (usually when emotions is intense) I’m “forgetting” consequences.
The people with who I’m spending time it’s a problem. I can just be together and see what they do and stay sober easy, but not always.
Emotions have always been hard for me. Why deal with them when I could easily numb them? I’m slowly learning how to actually feel them and get thru and it sucks! Lol. Hang in there! Check in here often and talk. It really helps and we all know what your feeling 
Yeah it sucks, especially when you deciting to think deeply about them and fix them (or when meditating) and suddenly looks everything better and better, and again same story after relapsing… 
I hear you loud and clear! You sound just like me. Ever since I was 16 and now 34. Smoking weed and drink are my demons. Always finding an excuse, the smallest one to get on it. Drinking alone is something I do best. Started of at once a week, now every 4-5 days, binge drinking and drinking fast. I stopped smoking and smoking weed around april. This is my 4th day sober and already finding excuses. I just posted a post because I am being triggered. Also, I gave up a good friend, to me he was good until I was seeing his true colours. I had to give that friendship up because it was starting to get dangerous. He started offering me cocaine or speed, which I used in the past and stopped in 2017. Now I am even more alone, but I would rather be alone myself than alone with someone who feeds my demons. 
I’m here for you like everyone else
Almos all peoples who I know around me doing various drugs (including alcohol, weed, coc, MD, mole) but in “weekendns” , and they all offering me to try or to do together, but no body understands that after little try that stuff, changing me and I want more and etc. I found solution to drink non alcoholic beer/cider or some good quality juice or good food, that’s helps but when cravings+emotions intense I’m offering myself…
At the moment no cravings at all biggest motivation: that first hangover circle feelings. And feeling better a bit, already can do some jobs at home and a bit communicating with peoples.
Happy new year’s!
I’m Still sober. Yesterday was new year party, it’s hudge test to me, my current life surrounding didn’t believe in me but I proved and wake-up much stronger. Small step forward. I hope all yours new year’s was good too.
Hi Evan, welcome! Good job on staying sober during New Year’s Eve madness! Feels great to wake up with a clear head, doesn’t it 
. You say that after a small amount of time you forget how bad it got the last time you used/drank and you make up a reason to go at it again. Don’t! Write down all of the raw low feelings and all of the things that you have lost due to your doc and read that when the addict voice starts thinking about using/drinking again. A saying that really helped me early on in my journey that I read her was…
NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES!
I had to change lots to get and stay sober and it was very worth it! I wish you well on your journey 