I’m only a week in to being sober and while I know to take it one day at a time, Thanksgiving is looming large this week. My family usually drinks during the holidays, and my father is drinking lot more than normal and my partner is a problem drinker/unadmitted alcoholic. Basically everyone around me will be drinking. Family time is stressful for me and usually my way of coping with stress is to drink. Any advice on how to get through this holiday without drinking? How do you avoid triggers at a family function when your trigger is your family? 
This may not be an option for you, but my strategy this year is to avoid all family functions and go on vacation to visit a friend in another state. When this made me nervous, but I spoke to my friend in advance and he is understanding and supportive of my early sobriety. I’m also planning to get to at least one, possibly two if possible, meetings on Thanksgiving day as I know I will need the support to get through the day with my sobriety and sanity in tact. 
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@aircircle Thanks. This is great advice. I did try to get out of the family function but my sister got very upset with me, so I caved. Would much rather be on vacation away from it all! But I will definitely look into attending a meeting nearby my family’s home on Thanksgiving. Thank you.
@EarnIt Thanks. Good advice! Will definitely get myself some fancy pomegranate juice or the like and hold on tight! Thanks for sharing the tips too!
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I especially like the idea of “extreme self care”. This is my world right now. I try to focus on making all my decisions around this, whether it’s reading, music, meetings, hanging with friends or family (only when I want to and feel good about it, not when I feel obliged or stressed about it), meditating, journaling, writing letters, etc etc .
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@aircircle @EarnIt Agreed. The “extreme self-care” and the planning of it seem especially important and helpful. Making time for it and committing to it. I’m going to plan ahead, load up on essential oils, get myself a brand new journal, pack up all the tools I’ll need to care for myself while home for Thanksgiving. Thank you both so much. This conversation has greatly changed my outlook and I’m feeling better going into the holiday.
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I had a family children’s birthday a few weeks ago when I was very newly sober and in the midst of a mental health melt down. Another thing I kept doing was moving from room to room to take breaks from the chaos and noise and to have at least a few minutes of quiet time for some deep breathing. I also set a time limit for when I needed to leave so I didn’t get sucked in for longer than I was comfortable.
Really glad to hear you are finding ways to turn this into a positive!!!
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So what is it that stresses you out about it? I get it early recovery you trying to avoid the temptation… the only thing you can control in almost every situation is how you respond!
Think of it like this? Sobriety is a test. If you don’t prepare for it guess what? More than likely you not going to do very well. It’s like walking in to an exam you already know your going to fail…
You can totally pass this test and be proud of it!!!
Lots of areas have 12 or 24 hours of AA meetings at the holidays, usually called an Alcathon. Check out a meeting today or tomorrow, they’ll have the info. You can set a time to be at a meeting to “help a friend” if you need an excuse. Good luck to you.
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@SinceIAwoke @anon34614660 Agreed. This is a great idea. So far my sister and my partner haven’t really understood why I want to be sober, so skipping out to “help a friend” (it’s me!) to go to a meeting will definitely be a good strategy. Thanks!
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I plan on skipping the family thanksgiving dinner this year as well. It might upset a few family members on my wife’s side of the family but, I am not worried about it. It’s just a meal I am sure they will get over it.
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@LuluLaments
Here’s my advice…Take your own drinks, of course. Also, make some dish to share to help you feel like you are contributing to the dinner. Help in the kitchen, before and after to give you something to do. Call ahead to see how you could help the host. Dress up in something special to feel like your best most confident self. Talk or play with the younger kids. Spend time with the oldest person there and get them to talk about their childhood celebrations. If they bring up trauma or family drama, take that as a history lesson of family dynamics. Could you get anyone to play a game? Take one with you. Treat them as casual friends instead of family. Lower your expectations about having a warm and loving atmosphere or BE that person that shines with love and light. Sorry, I’m going on and on. My best advice had to be to lower your expectations. That has helped me the most in my recovery. It’s only one day like any other.
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I love all these suggestions 
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I bought non alcoholic beers and have a glass when I am hosting dinner with everyone drinking around me. I like the taste and it looks like I am having a drink - minus the poison
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Just a tiny addition to the “have a non alcoholic drink in your hand” tip. Don’t let the glass rest empty for more than a few seconds - fill it with a non alcoholic beverage again, even if you’re not thirsty. Then neither you or anyone else can easily try to make your refill alcoholic. At worst you waste a glass of pomegranate juice.
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I second this!!!
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