Yesterday i was fighting my addiction to not cave in and drink due to certain event that have happened within my marriage with the man i have 15 years.. he has made me so heartbroken and im unclear of what to do. I wanna seperate but if i do i will never see my step son whom i have loved as my own since meeting him 3 years ago.
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Hello and welcome to this community. First and foremost congratulations on making this important first step. It’s a tough one and there is probably a good reason for it. Whatever you do, drinking will not make anything better but keep you stuck. Hang in there and focus on yourself for the moment. On your health, on your sobriety. That’s the thing you have control over.
I am not married so I can not help you there. But we are a friendly bunch here. Read around and find some inspiration from others. You got this 
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Hi @mamaraynie, welcome to the community. I’m so sorry something so tumultuous has happened in your marriage that you’ve considered picking up a drink. It sounds like this is all incredibly painful and that you have some difficult decisions ahead. Just remember everything gets harder when people like us drink- it may sound like a comfort but it will hurt you and those around you. Remember why you stopped and how many hangovers and regrets you haven’t had since then.
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It’s difficult to know what to say about your relationship. I’m not really qualified to give advice about that.
On a purely practical level, whenever I was struggling with cravings in the early days of my sobriety - I switched my brain off, went to the kitchen and chugged two pints of water. This did two things. First, I was too full to consider drinking anything, a bit like being unable to think about eating after eating a huge meal. And second, by the time the water had been absorbed into my system, my hydrated brain seemed better able to make a good decision.
Good luck.
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