Its it just me or does the urge never go away? Its been 4 ½ years so why do I still have these thoughts?
Its it just me or does the urge never go away? Its been 4 ½ years so why do I still have these thoughts?
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I messed my timer ages ago, so I cannot tell you exactly how long I’ve been sober (I guess at least to whole years, but nothing in your range).
Anyway, I didn’t have much cravings, I really don’t recall having to fight or endure them. I actually felt nauseous, anxious and afraid at the mere thought of drinking.
And then, just around New Year’s - and NOT because everyone else was drinking, since it was just the two of us (my son and I) in Copenhagen - it hit me. It wasn’t strong, but it was persistent. Not an urge, but something of a craving, “just to relax”, I giess. I spent six days having fun, walking around (we had a little bit of blizzard for a couple of days, but normally went out) AND having the booze right there in the back of my mind. It never stopped, until I got home.
I used to drink when I traveled, but not during the past couple of years, so I don’t think it was that.
Never mind the reason, the fact is I never expected it to happen so suddenly and without no (apparent) reason (though, surely, there must have been a reason or a trigger).
So, I think that there are periods of time when we are calm and have no desire to drink and then situations etc. when the urge comes back.
As to how to ride the wave, I’m sorry to say I have no suggestions. The only thing I do is to play the tpe forward.
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I’m not sure if it ever goes away, some people say it doesn’t. Maybe it depends on how hard you drank, how often etc. Addiction creates a pathway in your brain that makes you re-remember how you dealt with things before. Stress is a major trigger for me, but equally, so are happy memories. I’ve written here before how after a year off alcohol I went to France on holiday with my husband, and bam… that was the trigger. It was so strong that I had absolutely no hesitation, I drank wine like I had never given up at all.
Have you ever written down your thoughts about how you felt when you are drinking and trying to quit? I know I have, and I can tell you it kicks me right up the arse if I start having stupid thoughts about drinking.
For some, the drinking thinking never goes away and we have to accept that as part of our recovery. Recovery isn’t time limited, it’s a life long deal. Just keep your sober toolbox at hand, and make sure you reach out when the urge hits xx
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Yes the urge for a drink will go away take that from me , sobriety comes away of life booze aint going away as most people drink but the stronger your sobriety gets the easier it becomes to be round it and not want it wish you well
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Congratulations on your 4 years+!! That is some serious time free from self harm and something to be very proud of!!
I apologize that I don’t have much knowledge around self harm or how it may be similar or different to the healing process from alcohol or other substances or behaviors.
I know for myself, all of it was looking for a way to escape and not confront and heal my traumas and demons. I can say that in sobriety I no longer crave a drink (or cigarette, nicotine, cocaine, etc). I needed to do a lot of inner work, by myself and with a therapist over the years tho to get here. I do know some people who quit smoking who still crave it or drinking too.
When I was quitting smoking a long time ago, I missed it. Like an old nasty friend that I could drop all my shit on and just trauma bond with, you know? The escape. Ultimately, that just wasn’t healthy.
I hope you will get to a place of peace. 
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Im actually recovering from self harm. But drinking has been on my mind lately too.
Im actually recovering from self harm - but appreciate the writing tip. Im actually a song writer so I write quite a bit.
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Im recovering from self harm. But the urge to drink is def there.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your feedback. Its very hard but im trying to stay strong.
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Not for me yet either. It makes me feel a certain way and idk how to describe it but I’ve come to depend on it… Im sorry ur going through this…
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U can do it Kaitlyn as a fellow self harmed, ik there isn’t much anyone can say that will make u wanna stop hurting yourself but at least know that there are ppl who support u. U may try to argue that there isn’t but I’d say it’s not true bc I support u! Lmk how ur doing if u ever wanna talk send me a private message
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Thank you. I really appreciate it.
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