Struggles with self harm again

Ended up self harming last night. Worse than usual. My leg still hurts.

Ive posted lots about how hard this week is for me, and i turned to some old shitty coping skills again. If anyone has advice around either self harm or coping with very intense emotions in early sobriety, please share some tips with me. Im struggling a lot right now. Wanted to drink so bad last night. Holy fuck i hate everything rn.

I have a sponsor, i have a therapist, im doing what i should but its still so fucking hard.

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Im safe now. Not gonna do it again. The last cut was deep, i hit that white Styrofoam like layer beneath the skin. Bled for a while, but its healing. Scared the shit out of me.