Then it’s time to surrender.
Time to say you can’t do it alone.
Why wait until you snap? You want help, because you are here. You want a change. You want a free life with no abuse of weed ore sh.
Maybe check this thread out because you will find many interesting resourses of help in many forms there:Resources for our recovery Keep coming here, it helps to vent.
We are always here for you because there is always someone awake to talk to.