Ive been smoking for about half a year, its been my escape from sh multiple times and im struggling really badly.
I’m trying to fight my urges but its getting tougher. Ive recently had an issue w my friend and its given me sh urges but i’ve turned to wanting weed instead, i feel like its better than sh but its still bad, i know that. im trying to get myself a disposable weed vape to relieve myself of stressful times. I’m suffering horrendously. I’m waiting for the time I snap.
I’m a month clean from SH, barely a day sober, it’s getting harder to keep myself clean. I’m not even sure I want to keep myself clean anymore. I need intense help but I’m struggling to ask for it, im struggling to accept the help. I want to cry. I cant deal with this anymore
@koriiqvq Asking for and accepting help is hard to do. But it has to be done Kori! You describe yourself how you’re slipping ever deeper in the hole. And you know what needs to be done. In fact you already made the first step by posting here and posting. So I know you can do it. And you know too right? Please go and look further for the help you need. you’re not alone, it can’t be done alone and that’s why we’re in this together. Wishing you all success Kori. 
I’m glad you’re here and writing out how you feel. You are not alone. Lots of support for you here and in your 3D world.
So glad you posted here. Your tough time can be worked through with good support. Admitting you need help with addiction is scary, but a step in the process of healing. Asking for help is crucial to moving forward. Wanting sobriety, but not doing anything about it is still just wanting. Going it alone makes it harder.
Read around and keep posting, you’ll find a team of people who get you and who can be helpful on your journey. Here’s a thread that helps with planning for sobriety success: What’s YOUR plan?
Wish you all the best, you’ve got this!
Then it’s time to surrender.
Time to say you can’t do it alone.
Why wait until you snap? You want help, because you are here. You want a change. You want a free life with no abuse of weed ore sh.
Maybe check this thread out because you will find many interesting resourses of help in many forms there:Resources for our recovery Keep coming here, it helps to vent.
We are always here for you because there is always someone awake to talk to.