What’s up Simon?
Just having a bad few days, was sober there 3 months and the last few days iv hit it again…
Really disappointed in myself … all that struggle for nothing
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It’s not for nothing. It was a learning experience. Your day count doesn’t define you. What defines you is what you choose to do now, and now, you are reaching out for help. And that’s wise 
What happened over the last few weeks? Relapses start long before the actual drinking or using. What’s been up over the last little bit?
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Maybe try a meeting might help wish you well
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I echo Ray 
- meetings are helpful - something about Ray, he knows some stuff 
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Split up with my partner a few months back because of the drinking , I put her threw hell tbh . The lies was shocking , she couldn’t trust me …
Now I only get to see my kids once or twice a week and that breaks my 
.
Moved out from hers and now living with mu parents again and it just feels as if after 6 years I’m back were I started with nothing .
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That suck Simon. I’m sorry to hear it. It’s so discouraging.
You are not alone in being in a place like that. There are many people here who have been through exactly the same type of situation (and worse).
The only way out is finding a way to live sober. That includes riding the emotions of life, sober (which is what’s been up and down for you over the last few months). As a recovering addict your instinct is to run. We all trained ourselves to avoid unpleasant emotions or difficult, uncertain things, and we ran to alcohol or other drugs or behaviours to numb ourselves, to escape.
You need to learn to live sober, in mind, feelings, and body. You need to go to school.
Have you been to a meeting or a program yet? AA is good (go online and search “AA meetings near me”), and there are other options too:
It’s heartbreaking to lose people who matter to you so much.
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Try reading AA big book anytime?
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I have it beside me now, its just after I gave up the drink I left all my friends who I thought were friends behind so I don’t really have anyone to talk to that understands
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I put my family through the same un predictable madness that alcoholism brings, was such a destructive cycle.
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Because of covid all the closest meetings near me aren’t open which doesn’t help …
I had online meetings all over the world but I lost them when I got my new phone …
I just want my life back
We’re here to support any way we can
My partner stood by me so many times and I promised her the world and delivered nothing …
Shes such a good women and in the end I broke her heart because of the drink . She’s the best mum to our 2 kids and she’s done a wonderful job .
You can get it back together and manage the thoughts of how that drink will take away all the pain. Its just a process takes patience and alot of understanding.
Thats the problem everyone who hasn’t been threw it just says, aww man up and come off it . Iv got that so much but people just don’t understand how hard it actually is
Im sure your a great dad too, just that were sic when we put that drink in us and everything good goes out the window.
Its very hard yes but not impossible. You deserve a better life, the freedom and enjoyment of sobriety is more than a drink ever can give me
I know. It sucks.
The path to getting your life back starts with meetings. You can do it.
There’s online meetings here:
Online meeting resources
Take care brother, never give up. Yes it sucks. But you get to choose your attitude. You have a chance now to walk your recovery, and that’s powerful. You have that power - one day at a time.
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Your here asking for help thats an important step and there is a solution written in the BB. Everytime that i get a craving or feeling the selfish thought of taking a drink i just open up the book and try to get out of my head. Thats a dangerous place to be, in the mind of an alcoholic, a scary place to be you dont what to be there alone.
Just reach out anytime you need, try get to any meeting, we are always around to lend a hand. Be well, God bless. Hope to see you around.
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