Day 38 AF, and 72 days at new job. The training at this job is poor, and I have zero grace for myself when I make mistakes (possibly addict behavior). I internalize everything (again - addict), but I don’t have enough work to stay busy all day, even tho all other coworkers do (I know this from daily status meetings). Crazy Brain tells me it’s because my work is sub-par, I don’t fit in, and I don’t belong here. I’ve already had a 15-minute crying session in my car in the parking lot. I’ve also re-upped my profile on LinkedIn to show I’m open to new opportunities. I accepted here because (1) the pay is crazy good, and (2) I looked forward to new friends (meaning friendly coworkers). My life has been a series of mistakes/failures, panic, run, start new, repeat. Today would normally be a day of at least two “buckets” of wine (large glasses) after work. Thanks for listening to my vent.
It’s good that you are venting on here and not through the bottle. That won’t do you any good.
Sometimes it’s good to just vent. Let it all out. Life isn’t easy. It’s hard and tough.
Work is also not easy and sometimes those problems we carry them home with us and let them weigh on us.
I do know one thing for certain, and that is, if you stop being sober, the problems at work will only get bigger and larger. Atleast with more of a sober mind, you are better equipped to handle those problems and stresses.
In my experience, life, my emotions, health, and everything in general got better the more and more sober days I stacked up.
It’s part of the process. Continue on with your sober journey.
Oh man i can relate to what you are feeling!
First off great job coming here for support and not going to the crappy addict habit. Youre building new coping skills
I also relate to your anxiety and fears with starting a new job. It takes time to learn. Its ok to take time to get up to speed. If you dont have enough work yourself maybe ask your boss if you could shadow someone when you do have down time?
Hi @Laura1961 Im sorry that you’re struggling at the moment. Well done on coming here to talk it through. I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone! We are right here with you! 
I recently started a new job. It is very stressful making the transformation.
Im the most experienced guy on the crew and the lowest man on the totem pole. It not a place I’m used to being.
The rollercoaster from having confidence to doubts and fears has been extreme.
The gear does the same thing as always but it connected different. The knots are different, and im not as fast with the new to me system.
I’m clean and sober, and I’m catching on. Not being hungover and fully present gives me the ability to catch on better.
Glad your here. Thanks for sharing/venting
