I just left a meeting and I am feeling super triggered. I want to use. We had a speaker who shared on relapse after relapse and my disease is whispering in my ear about how, if he can relapse and come back, so can I… I know this is just my disease twisting the real message, but I can’t seem to shift my thinking no matter how hard I try.
I am recently sponorless, so I can’t reach out to who I usually do. I spoke to two other addicts about it but I am still obsessing on the thought of going out. It is scaring me. I hate this feeling, I don’t actually want to use, but I feel like in a sick way I’m supposed to; my head is all over the place.
Any advice or encouragement for pushing through cravings is welcome…
Hi, my addiction is alcohol. I just had one of those days yesterday. I reached out here and then to a friend to distract myself. I also told myself how that particular moment would pass and if feel different and I did. Thankful I didn’t drink because today is a new day. Take it one minute at a time. You may try meditating. When I have racing thoughts I focus on my breath and repeat over and over. I breathe in I breathe out. It keeps the mind busy. I hope that’s helpful.
@FreeingFalkor Feeling tempted or triggered is normal. Our brains try to trick us. Don’t give in. Keep reminding yourself about the reasons you decided to get sober, and how horrible addiction really is.
Distraction has worked for me. Exercise, Netflix, books, music, meditation. Anything which keeps me from thinking about my addictions.
It’s not easy. It’s really quite difficult. I have to force my mind to focus on other things. It’s a constant internal battle. But with time, it gets easier.
You can do this. You decided to stop. That’s a very difficult and brave choice you made. It gets easier.
My husband also struggled with these thoughts on the morning of August 30th, 2022. He kissed me good morning and left for work. He grabbed pills from a dealer on his way to his job site, when he got to work he entered a porta potty and smoked one, he didn’t even finish it before he passed away at 8:07am. He was dragged out by people he loved and respected and was narcaned and worked on for over an hour to no avail, while his little brother and mine watched as they were on the same job. One craving, one decision, one man thinking “this will be my last time” not knowing it truly would be, his last time. I’m a recovering addict as well, I know the fight. I see and understand this struggle but please don’t. I promise you it’s not worth it. If I can leave you with anything, let it be that, It is just a one day commitment. Just don’t do it today. Just fight getting high today. Yesterday and tomorrow, are inconsequential. If you can get through this moment—right now—That’s all you need to do to change your entire life.
Ya just gotta interrupt the relapse process. Blow up as many clean/sober people you know or call an addiction hotline and then talk, talk, talktalktalk until you feel strong enough to not give in. Distract yourself, somehow. NA & AA Zoom meetings are literally 24/7. Log onto one or multiple and share about your struggles. Take the power out of it! Keep fighting! I wish you blessings, courage and strength!
Aha. This is the reason it’s so dangerous to the community when ppl relapse and not reset their counters and publically argue or not why that’s ok. It promotes this grey-zone mindset to other folks who still aren’t as stable in their sobriety yet but don’t want to relapse.
@FreeingFalkor my friend you did excellent coming here asking for support. Well done.
As yourself: will that drink or drug provide what you want? Do you want to have to struggle again, argue with yourself on what path you want? Not identify with and be bewildered by yourself and your actions when your under the influence? Do you want the uncertainty and the dissonance? The obsession?
What’s on the other side for you? Write that out. What do you feel like sober? Cos that’s on the line here.
You know that it’s an illusion. There is nothing out there for any of us. Stay where you are, in your recovery. Share with us here and share in the next meeting. You can do this. You don’t have to go back out. Stay strong.
Edit I’ve heard this before about some meetings that are very relapse heavy, that they can be demoralising. Im not a friend of coddling and trigger warnings and such, I think we all gotta learn to deal w life on life’s terms and what that means for our particular lives. AND: there’s nothing wrong with looking for a meeting w for example more old timers if you are not finding what you need rn to keep on the straight n narrow.
I had read and commented on your post earlier. Reading it is what made me feel so afraid of my thoughts. Thank you for sharing your and your families’ experiences and showing the dark and painful reality of addiction. Thank you so much for reaching out to me.
Thank you!! I ended up drinking some tea and putting on a documentary on SeaWolves and falling right to sleep. Netflix really can be a life saver. lol There is something really rough about Sunday nights for me, I always feel to most uncomfortable. I appreciate you reaching out.
