I was just starting to get my shit together and getting comfortable with my sobriety. I’ve got problems and issues that I’m working on just like every other addict. I was making great progress. Today I found out that my wife cheated on me yesterday and had been doing it for the last 6 months. I’m using all the tools in my box but I feel I’m about to break any minute. My demons are telling me to throw it all away and self destruct. I don’t know what to do and I’m scared about the possibility of what could happen.
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I’m sorry for what’s happening and what happened but what good would using do? I’m glad you came here Curtis. Tells me you really don’t want to throw away your sobriety. It also tells me you know we’re in this together. Stay with us friend. Hang with us. You can get though this sober and nothing is worth using over. Using wouldn’t solve anything, it would just make stuff even worse. Hang in there.
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People hey 
always ready to fuck everything up, let us down and generally disappoint us.
First thoughts are “I’ll show them, I’ll get wasted that’ll teach them”
Until the next person comes along and walks all over us.
Learn to respect yourself on this tough occasion and the next person you fall in love with will return it. Chin up matey.
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Thats a cop out. Yes, thats a very shitty situation but what you are explaining is that addict voice trying to find any excuse to send you back into the depths of destruction.
Please hold out. Hit a meeting. Keep messaging here. Just dont use. The only person you’ll be hurting is yourself.
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I’m sorry that you are experiencing this pain, and feelings of betrayal. I can also understand the temptation to escape back to your DOC. That’s one of the many ways we end up addicted.
Play the tape forward. Say you pick up, or drink up. You go on an epic bender. All benders eventually end. Will your life be better off when you once again sober up? Doubtful.
As shitty as this situation is, it can get shittier. You could jam yourself up with the law. You could do real physical damage to yourself.
No matter what, stay sober. This way you can make the best decision for your future. Do you stay and try to save the marriage? Do you leave for a time and see how you feel? Do you pack up and roll out now? These are life altering choices. They need to be made with as clear a head as possible.
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So so sorry you are going thru this. Do you have an AA group you can lean in on? That’s what they are there for. Drinking won’t make it better, and I know you know this. We are certainly here to support you.
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That was shitty thing for her to do. Please don’t let it effect your progress. You are doing great! There will always be shitty things you will have to get through. Getting wasted will not make it go away, you will feel even worse tomorrow. For me…I had to make being sober my number one thing in my life. More important than my job, family, ect. I don’t know what will happen between you and your wife. But I hope you do what’s best for you. All the more reason to stay sober though. Hugs buddy.
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This sucks, and this is exactly the sort of thing that would feed into my own emotional weaknesses and send me into an immediate spiral. I’m proud of you for having the wherewithal even in all this to recognize it, pause, and reach out here for support. I don’t know what your wife’s deal is, but @Yoda-Stevie is absolutely right, there’s a lot of choices to be made and it’s important to keep a clean head on your shoulders.
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Well, it has been a couple of long and stressful days. I’m pretty sure my marriage is over. I’ve known my wife since we was kids. We have been together as a couple for 20 years. I feel completely destroyed inside. I still have my sobriety though and I’m glad because going back to booze would have made things so much worse. I also want to thank you guys. Reading the advice here has made me stop to think a bit and has been valuable to me.
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Bought that ticket, took that ride 6 years ago. Wasn’t even trying to quit drinking yet. Drank too much at the time but it was before I was a totally full-blown alcoholic.
My partner of 15 yrs and I decided to split up. Unfortunately it was a less than friendly decision between us. So I went on the most epic month long tear ever! There was not enough bourbon in the world to put that fire out, and not going to lie, some of it was an absolute blast! Especially after 15 yrs with the same person. Flash forward a few years and multiple attempts at sobriety later, it so wasn’t worth it. NOT WORTH IT.
Trust me my guy, it will make the whole process EXPONENTIALLY worse! It will also just be one more thing on top of the huge pile of stuff that already makes you feel shitty about your alcoholism.
Go to a meeting if that’s your thing, don’t hesitate to lean on family, friends, or this community. Whatever works for you. You will really be amazed how many people will be happy to be there for you if you just ask.
I feel for you and really wish you the best!! Stay strong, and remember that even though you feel stomped on atm, you are truly the bigger person in that whole deal.
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Even though the circumstances are very sad, I’m still glad to read what you wrote. I’m sorry for the way your marriage seems to be going but I’m glad you’re sober. Sober you can work on (re)building you. Sober you can move ahead and make the right decisions for you. I’m also glad you feel the worth of peer support because to me peer support is everything. Wishing you strength and success in dealing with your life. Sober. You’re not alone!
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