I am struggling, so much. Longest stint being sober in a long time for what? I found out today I have almost no chance of getting my license back sooner than the 6 month penalty imposed. I wake up everyday and do what I am supposed to do. Raise 2 children, go to work, look after the house. When I’m walking the 90 minutes home after work I have to stop myself stepping in front of a bus, car, truck, anything that comes my way. The only thing that stops me is the fear of not being killed, but injured. I feel worthless. I feel my children and husband deserve someone better. 6 months seems like a lifetime. I can’t take any more.
May I ask how long you’ve been sober for? Your two children don’t deserve better than you, they just deserve the best version of you! 6 months can seem like a lifetime, but in the grand scheme of things it could be worse. Are you able to speak to a professional about how you’re feeling? I’m not a doctor, but it sounds like you may be struggling with depression. It might be good to speak with a therapist about everything! I know that it helped me. I am also a mom of 3 little boys, and at one point I felt hopeless as well. Through my recovery work, I have slowly learned to love myself again, and to realize that I am worth being sober for too. Message me if you need to talk 
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You are for sure NOT worthless! You are the most important person in your life. Your kids needs u to be alive, be kind to your self. You do deserve a sober life . I belive you can do this . You are good person
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We are all worthless pieces of shit. We are all the same members of the sapiens species. The difference comes from just coincedences like where we born or who our parents are etc. You seem like you are under pressure of lots of responsibilities. You don’t have to do it alone or feel lonely. Ask some help from your husband or relatives and create some personal time so that you can enjoy what you like to do. For example think about what you used to do before your husband and children. It’s like putting oxygen mask first to yourself then after to your children. If you feel good then they feel absolutely great. Last piece of humble advice; stick your daily routine. It does help when you struggle or when you are coping with depression. Please don’t hesitate to see a professinal. Stay strong and enjoy your addiction-free life.
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Please seek for help, doctor, aa group, a friend, anything, now. 6 months may seem forever now, but it is a blink of an eye in your and your childrens life. They need you and that is why you have to prioritize your wellbeing and being alive. Take your life seriously now, you are suffering from the consequences of lethal illness, alcoholism. On your own you cannot make it, help is available and although you must feel youve no strenght anymore, do one more thing, make a call to get help. Im with you (Im sure we all are) 
Go for it!
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You have value. You are not worthless. What you did today to prove your value was remind me that I have value also. I understand your shame and despair. I have also been stuck in that deep shame where I felt I am a bad person and the world would be better off without me. But I don’t feel that way anymore.
There is an awesome TED talk on shame by Brené Brown. During it, she discusses the difference between shame and guilt. Guilt says “I did something bad” shame says, “I am bad”. Maybe you’re mixing those up. I know I was.
Healing from all this starts with self forgiveness. It started with me accepting my faults along with my strengths. I had to admit that I am simply human, and I fall short of the mark on a daily basis. I also had to, and this is the tough one, accept that I have done well also. At our meetings on Tuesday nights we end by going around the table and listing 3 of our positive personality attributes. To start, it was very difficult because my disease cannot survive if I’m positive. But starting small (I am persistent) I worked my way up to a long list. Try it some time. Maybe on the walk home from work, rather than thinking about jumping in front of busses, think about all the things you have done right. Start small, no buts. If you’re a good cook then that’s it, none of this “I’m a good cook, but one time I burned a roast so…”
See your value beyond the shame. You’re more than a list of past mistakes. You are loved.
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How much do your kids grow and change in 6 months? How fast did they go from rolling over to crawling, to standing, to walking? So much growth and the time passes in an instant.
Make the most of this time to grow out of what brought you to this point. Listen to podcasts and audiobooks while walking. Maybe get a bike and start riding. Work your mind, body, and spirit. Think of it as “me time” which separates your time working for and caring for others. You are crawling now. You keep trying, and soon you’ll be walking, and before you know it, running.
Decide to be better, and then be better. Keep getting better at getting better each and every day, and that 6 months will blow by in an instant.
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You matter. Your life matters. I hope you can read all these beautiful responses and find that spark that helps you see your value. I am not a doctor, but you sound depressed. I hope you can find someone to talk to.
You can always reach someone …just to talk…at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-273-8255
Sometimes just talking with someone can ease our minds a bit. I am sorry you are struggling.
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