Sleep may be hard but it’s better than drinking. Drinking is blindness and numbness and silence. It’s not helpful and if you are honest with yourself - you know this 
Why not hit up a meeting? www.AA.org or Online meeting resources. You can share your story there. It means a lot to get it out, not have it clouding up your brain.
You can only ever take it one day at a time. You do whatever you need to do (safe and legal obviously ) to not drink. Spend time here, go to meetings, talk to sponsor, play tennis, pet cats at the pet store. Whatever you need to do to be doing things that are helpful and healthy for you.