So the first photo was 4 years ago when i was still doing c0ke everyday. I didnt need to work out but i was relatively active and could eat and drink whatever i wanted. The middle photo is after i stopped and was just drinking. Mixed with some health issues i gained a ton of weight really rapidly. The last photo is now. Ive stopped drinking which has really helped with some of the weight but between working and some depression I’m finding it really hard to get my weight back down. Noy necessarily to where i used to be because that wasnt healthy but i want to be at a healthy weight and feel attractive again. I didnt think it would have such an impact on me. But the insecurity that comes with it is becoming really hard.
12 Likes
I know how you feel. For me in getting sober I’ve gained weight, partly because I switched addiction behaviours to eating, but mainly because - I think - I don’t know myself. I don’t connect with myself.
I’ve lived in addiction (hiding, avoiding, burying anything that feels true and scary and vulnerable - which is basically what it means to be a growing human: you connect with yourself and with others and walk through vulnerable moments together) - I’ve lived in addiction so long I never learned me. I never got to know me. I’ve been living with a mask on my face (my emotional avoidance, my addiction) for so long I don’t know what I am without the mask, and I’m scared (which can trip me up if I’m not careful).
I’m finding that my participation in my recovery group is helping. The program and the wise members with experience are helping me walk through this and uncover myself, one layer at a time. It’s like doing archaeology: I’m excavating my self.
I don’t think there’s a specific weight or shape where I’ll feel happy, necessarily; I think it’s more that when I get to know myself, as a person - when I peel away the layers and live with myself and connect in healthy ways with other people - then I will care for myself, which includes healthy eating and balanced exercise, and that acceptance and caring is where I’ll feel happy. (I already feel it today, off and on, as I work my recovery program, but I think the deeper my work goes, the more present and accepting I will feel.)
You’re a good person, and you belong, and you are not alone. Keep reaching out and keep talking it out. You will find what you need.
6 Likes
As someone who’s struggled with Body image issues, i understand your plight 100%. Body image issues, body checking (like pinching yourself or constantly looking in the mirror) erodes your self esteem. Here’s something i found that might help you.
1. Bathe Your Mind In Self-Worth And Confidence Affirmations
This is a very important thing to do in knowing how to overcome self-doubt. The truth is, no one would fight your self-doubt as much as you will. The crux of the battle lies in your hands and you need to take the bull by the horn by speaking up for yourself.
Whenever the thoughts of self-doubts creep into your head, you should learn to open your mouth to say “NO!” Words are powerful and the more you say positive words to yourself the better for you. In your bid to overcome self-doubt, you would need to constantly remind yourself that you are capable of being the best you can.
Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you can accomplish whatever you set your heart to do. The more you say these words of affirmation, the more your mind gets in tune with the positivity you aim to achieve and in no time, you would be on your way to accomplishing your goals.
You can wake up in the morning every day and declare these positive affirmations;
– I am a masterpiece.
– I am entirely capable of being whole without validation from others. I am learning how to validate myself.
– I am fully capable of achieving my goals, pursuing my passion, and nurturing my heart’s desires. My purpose is mine. I will work hard to stand in courage, self-confidence and commitment.
– I can change. I was not born to stay the same. Evolution is a part of my process, and I am learning to lean in and trust every step of the way.
– I am worthy of the love that I pour into others. I will do better at filling myself up with adoration, time and respect.
5 Likes
That’s me right there in a nutshell. I’ve felt insecure most of my life, had moobs most of my life, struggled with my body for so long, i’ve lost 30, moobs still here, trying to lose another 30, but in the meantime, i’m learning to just appreciate the process. I dieted 6 months, now starting another 6 months, i’ve learned to just appreciate the process and reward the wins, you can’t be thinking, ‘ill be happy when i’m this weight or when i’m finally strong i’ll be happy. Striving, striving and never arriving. Just gotta learn to appreciate life’s little wins and the journey. It’s cliche’ but so true.
5 Likes
Welcome 1998 and thanks for sharing your feelings on something bothering you. For me I’ve been in shape bc i played sports n worked out. Once i got in my addiction which for me was drinking everything went out the door. I didn’t care about exercising or taking care of my body or myself and sure as hell didn’t care what anyone thought. Today with a few 24hrs under my belt and working this program i love myself like never before. When i was drinking i would go days without eating and today i eat eat 
. The weight i have i am proud of bc ik its healthy weight. Most of all love yourself and what other ppl think of us is nine of our business. Wish you the best on your journey. You look good btw so keeo up the good work.
2 Likes
Omg! Are you me? I also went from fit/slim to putting a lot of weight on very very fast. It got worse when I quit the coke and been fluctuating from bad to very bad in the past couple years or so. I’m almost 11 months sober from alchohol and haven’t fully started to really work on getting back to a healthy(ish) BMI.
I’ve got no advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone with the rapid weight gain and struggling to… reverse it.
5 Likes
You are beautiful, and you are making the most attractive choice you can make for yourself, sobriety!!!
5 Likes
Thanks so much for your kind words and empathy 
1 Like
Its so nice to know I’m not alone
1 Like
I absolutely can relate to ur post. Thank u for opening up about ur struggles. When i was using drugs i was also still exercising/weight lifting and so i was quite thin and fit but definitely not “healthy” though due to being in active addiction. When i quit using, i ended up gaining a TON of weight. I switched addictions to food to cope (as I hadnt learned new skills at that timr to cope with intense emotion/trauma) and my eating disorder flared up. Im trying to find balance now being clean and sober. I definitly have come to realize that in order for me to be healthy overall, i need to learn to cope in healthy ways. Nourish my body with good foods in the right amounts. Be active in some way everyday. And i think most importantly, learn to accept myself where i am at in the process. That it truly is progress and not perfection 
2 Likes
It feels really amazing to know I’m not the only one. I will say its hard when you look in the morrior everyday and it looks like theres no progress. Last night a memory popped up on my phone from a year ago and i was like “wooooooooooah ive lost a ton of weight”
I lost weight after kicking booze by being very self aware of the treat replacement calories I was consuming and what that was doing to my entire day.
I don’t weigh food all the time but occasionally I’ll do it once or twice for a type of food so I’m conscious going forward how many calories a handful of nuts is, or a chocolate bar, chips/crisps etc. That just helped me see where the big treat, weight gain things are. Portion size was a big thing for me. Always too big!
But don’t be cranky. Just be honest with yourself about what you are eating and how much you are moving.
Allow yourself treats but be good and active too!
I’ll always have a saggy belly from my overweight days. I’m not getting younger and I’m no Brad Pitt! But I’m trying to be the best version of me, and not comparing myself to unachievable people. So I’m running and sober. That’s the good thing.
Remember to focus on the good things you are achieving too. Those things are attractive regardless of weight and fitness. 
1 Like
Love this. Good reminder!
2 Likes