Pretty much every time I’ve tried to get Clean before, I’ve relapsed over the weekend. Work and other obligations are a good distraction for me (i.e. “if i stay late, then by the time i get home the pot shops won’t be open so i can’t buy weed and thus can’t smoke it”). But when it’s the weekend, when i have nothing planned, when I’m bored or tired or stressed, i inevitably just want to get high. Even if it’s “oh I’ll only smoke one joint then I’ll stop,” once I’m done i want more and figure that since i already relapsed then what’s the point?
Needing a little encouragement. I don’t even want to post this so that i can just “relapse in peace,” as if such a thing exists. Even if i go get one drink, it lowers my inhibitions enough that I’ll want to smoke. I don’t know, i feel like I’m rambling and not making much sense. Haven’t even made it a week yet and I’m struggling.
EDIT: I am fully aware that faith and God (particularly Christianity) is helpful for many people. However, i have a lot of religious trauma from my childhood, so please keep those particular comments to yourself as they are less helpful for me. Thank you kindly, and blessings to you.
You are not rambling and what you’re saying is soo relatable. It’s the addict part of your brain talking but you don’t need to listen. What can you do to distract yourself on weekends? What do you like to do for fun? Is there a support group you can go to on weekends to help refrain your mindset from wanting to use? Or even just coming on here and reaching out or reading others stories can be a distracting and the craving WILL pass. I know it doesn’t seem like it but it will. Breathwork and meditation can help you refocus too. Just anything to keep your mind busy with other things! I try to remind myself that smoking is just a temporary fix to an ongoing problem. You can do this though. Its all mind over matter easier said than done I know but try to just take one day at a time.
I struggle everyday with beer. I just cant break that cocktail hour fixation. It does help to have accountability though. Going alone is impossible. So if you can hear this i promise you i will not drink tomorrow! That i can do. Maybe you can do the same. Yours, Joe
I’m glad you posted. What I needed to quit all drugs and booze was a change of heart and mind. I had to see that all drugs and booze did for me was negative. I learned that through study, trough learning about substances and addiction.
I needed to see that I couldn’t do it alone. I needed my peers and I found them right here. The opposite of addiction is connection, and again, being a bit shy of people, I found that right here on Talking Sober.
In the short run what took me through early cravings were both distractions, drinking water, discussing it like we’re doing here, taking deep breaths and using delaying actions, as well as taking the time to sor tof meditate on a craving, what do I feel, where do I feel it, what wants the craving, in my body from my toes to the tip of my head, in my brain? It’s never a command that we need to give in to.
In the longer run I feel we must build ourselves a life we don’t want to run from by using drugs. Why do we want to get stoned? What are we running from? Running is never a tactic that lasts. At some point we need to face our demons to be able to bury them. I went into psychotherapy after getting sober. I needed that and still do. What you need you have to find out for yourself. Wishing you all success Reese. It can be done.
I was terrified of free time in early sobriety. I planned out each day, with some recovery work in the morning (read a chapter of quit lit, go to a meeting, etc). And then planned work, cleaning, exercise, a drama from Netflix, etc.
Mno’s advice is spot on. You need to have some short-term tricks and long term tactics that you can deploy as needed. Short-term tricks for me were sniffing lavender oils, eating mints, moving my body, etc. Long term I had to start working on living my life today that would make tomorrow me proud/happy. Taking care of my body and soul.
My first attempt at sobriety I did a two week stint in rehab followed by minimal effort at my sobriety. Well I found out very quickly that my minimal effort led to minimal sobriety. I relapsed fairly early into my attempt. My second attempt I thought that I could distract myself into sobriety. That attempt was even shorter than my first.
Eventually I realized that sobriety was not just going to happen. I had to go out and earn it. The first year of my sobriety was almost solely focused on my sobriety. Rehab, outpatient, AA, NA, therapy, sober living house, medication, sacrifices to Sun go, literally anything. I wanted sobriety so badly there was not a single thing I wouldn’t do to get it.
Its been over 7 years since I’ve committed myself to my sobriety and I have not had to pick up a drink or drug. These days I still participate in AA, but all the work I put in that first year has allowed me to have an amazing life.
easier said than done I know but try to just take one day at a time.