So I’m about 3 days in on my counter but more like 5 days since I smoked or drank.
I went to a friends birthday party on Saturday and it was an interesting experience. First off when I walked out into the garden my attention was drawn to what they were drinking. Now, Saturday was ok for me as I knew I was working Sunday and I drove there so I wasn’t expecting to be able to drink. I wasn’t craving cigs either. I was however then thinking “what about the next time I’m out and I CAN drink” In my head I was saying to myself “You’re just not ready to give it up yet” the reason why im saying this is because back in 2014 i woke up one day and just went cold turkey for a year, i felt ready then, there was no struggle at the start! Since then Ive struggled to start or have given in after a few months.
After I said I wasn’t ready to myself my mind then when straight to my counter. The stubborn side of me then jumped ahead in time to me drinking and smoking, having a “great” time with my friends then waking up the next morning, hitting reset and then asking myself “WHY DID YOU START DRINKING AGAIN”
I think the reason I’m saying to myself “I’m not ready yet” is because my mind didn’t say “you’re doing this for your health and to heal” it was more stubborn about the counter being reset!
There is one particular weekend coming up in November that I’m now 50% not looking forward to as its going to be some friends of mine at an all day festival drinking. In my head I’m thinking I’m going to quit until then, go to the festival drink and smoke then reset when I get home. As soon as i say that to myself the stubborn side of me comes forward again about the counter!
Now I’ve had time to reflect on all this I just found it interesting.
