Hello every one this is my first post like this or first time seeking help. I have been an addict for coming up on 15 years. In that time I have had some lengthy time periods where I e been clean. But I’ve been stuck in a relapse now for 4 years. At my best I was hitting 50 to 75 days clean. But then it dropped to 25. After a while it became way more frequent. Then I got to the point where I was an everyday user. Here a few weeks ago I started to use intravenously again. I came clean and told my wife that I was using, how much ,and how often. I want to get clean again and be the best father and husband that I can be.
But for some reason I am so weak minded I can’t seem to go longer then 2 days without using. I want the help now more so then ever. Today is day one. Just for today I am clean. And will push to do my best. But I’m looking for advice on what it took other meth addicts to overcome the struggle of feeling like you don’t exist. Or can’t live without it.
Your not weak minded! Not at all! But your addiction is strong! We are powerless over it.
I’m addicted to alcohol, can’t advice about meth but addiction is addiction.
What has helped me was and is connection. So I’m here a lot. Being here every day the first year of my recovery helped me to stay focussed and prevented me to become too cocky in my recovery ore start romanticizing my drinking days.
I read something yesterday that has stuck in my mind because I think it’s a good start into recovery.
HOW
H stands for Honesty
O be Openminded
W and Willingly to try everything
Here on this forum you will find so much support and you can find so many good tips and information! Use the HOW above and you will find sobriaty, just as many of us here!
If you find the end of your rope the only way you can choose is up!
You can do it, we are here to support you.
If you have any questions, just ask 
Welcome to the community
Nice to have you with us 
Welcome to Talking Sober - asking for help is a huge first step and this is a terrific place to get all sorts of helpful suggestions and interactions.
I was also unsuccessful in staying sober when I was focused on the number of consecutive days I had. Somehow, doing that, making the number of days a sort of buffer between me and my booze, made me feel even more lonely and despairing. Like instead of thinking “Hooray, I have 28 days, I will keep rolling into 29”, I would think that I had gritted my teeth and sweated through 28 days and I felt stretched to the breaking point, and “fuck it, I’ll start over tomorrow” and I would go drink.
I came to the place where I focused on staying sober from the time that I got up in the morning until I went to bed at night. And between work and commuting and AA meetings and counseling and helping with my kids and eating etcetera, I was really only left with some short periods, less than an hour at a time and maybe like 3 hours total, to stay dry until the next thing or until bedtime.
Like you, I woke up or came to every morning and I had honestly good intentions to stay sober that day. And I still do today, wake up and decide to stay sober today. A big difference is that today I plan how I will stay sober today and I start taking steps on it immediately. A little prayer and reflection, even 10 minutes, is how I start my day, and checking in here, so that I am consciously putting beneficial thoughts and energy into my mind and soul from the beginning. That makes the rest of the day easier for me.
Blessings on your house 
as you begin today.