I don’t get it, I know I can do well. I have had many periods of 7 days, 14 days… right now I am on a 14 day straight bender and I can’t seem to kick it. Each day I say I’m good and by the end of the day I say “why not”
Ugh!
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What are you doing on a daily basis to seek outside support for your sobriety?
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Nothing, I don’t have the time for anything else.
I am very high functioning. This app I hope
Is my key to this. I think I just need a little support system.
What’s funny is I prefer coffee over anything. Yet some days I go for the wine. I think I just need a little help to say to go for the coffee or cold water
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The more you drink the more you will crave it. Until you actually need it to feel ok, sleep, or not be anxious. I’m guessing those 7 days or 14 days come after a bad one. So in fact, you weren’t sober for 7 days, you weren’t drinking for 7 days, waiting to feel better to do it all over again.
The longer that goes on the deeper you get into it. There is a point when each relapse will become insufferable. You realize there is a problem, that is always the first step. What beyond that are you willing to do?? I wish I could bless you with sobriety but all I can do is tell you it’s worth it and worth working hard for!! If I could gift it, you would not be facing unbelievably hard, isolating pain and suffering.
I can tell from your post how terrible you must feel right now. Trust me I was there. I don’t wish that on my worst enemy. You have a good community of people here that will offer you great advice, but advice is only valuable if you listen to it.
Stay vigilant and keep us updated. Ask questions, vent, confide, be vulnerable. This is the real deal my friend
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Some times they see after a bad one, but I always felt good by day 2-3. Like a new person, this year for lent I tired to go 40 days and did 14. Again felt amazing but It wasn’t after anything bad.
But your right sometimes it was after I felt like I was on deaths bed
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If you have time to drink for 14 straight days then you can find time to work on your recovery. Minimal effects will yield minimal results.
For what it’s worth everyone thinks they are high functioning right up until the point they aren’t. I was a decently successful attorney before finding my rock bottom. Don’t let material “success” fool you into thinking you have it altogether.
Enroll in an outpatient, go to a meeting, try therapy. Do something that makes you get up and focus on your recovery. This forum is great, but sometimes it makes it too easy.
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I get what your saying and don’t disagree. All of the time in those 14 days was at home or doing something else…work/young kids, and they have no idea.
How about trying Annie Grace’s 30 day experiment, it’s free and you get loads of support, videos, information. There’s a part where you can journal and answer questions. I found it really really useful. You’ve nothing to lose from looking into it. Just Google it and you can sign up.
Also, try some quit lit, really helped change my mindset. Allen Carr, Annie Grace, The luckiest Club (can’t remember the author sorry, is it holly Whittaker?) I’m on day 536 from being where you are. Good luck 
you can do this
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I remember this, it’s horrible, it’s like a circle of hell. I would barter and debate with myself and go around and around in circles until I finally justified buying the wine, sometimes I’d literally be pacing he floor, I couldn’t settle, it was that ‘antsy’ feeling of needing something, and talking yourself into why it’s ok just one more time.
I lost years of my life to it. It’s that feeling and liberation from it that is one of the best things about soberiety, you’re no longer a prisoner. And not destroying your health anymore to satisfy an addiction.
How to do it? Don’t debate with the voice, it’s just addiction. If it begins saying ‘why not?’ Then shut it down instantly with a ‘because I’m sober, and I’m not destroying my body and mind any more’ end of debate.
It might come back within 5 minutes with another ‘why not?’ Shut it down again, instantly. You will have to do this a lot of times at the beginning, but gradually the ‘why not’ should get weaker and weaker and further apart. It may try to spring a surprise attack even years in, but by then you should be pretty strong against it.
Write down the reasons you want to stop, read that list of you need help to shut it down. Or come on here.
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You’d be surprised. Even if kids are too young to know it’s alcohol, they can notice differences in mood and attention. And kids grow up fast. They will notice soon enough.
Even if you are ‘high functioning’ imagine how much you could do with the energy and clarity of sobriety.
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Try a meeting might help they helped me stay sober wish you well
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