Hey supportersđź’—
Was I suprised yesterday…
Was having a really bad day.. nothing happened, did not drink, just went to work and home. But experienced depression and hopelessnes on a next level. Normally, I still have passion for my work (lab technician in clinical trial research), I even lost that..
When I got home, I didn’t know how to explain to my partner how I was feeling. I felt like nothing matters anymore, I don’t matter, being sober is one part but the lack of motivation to actually make all the changes was so overwhelming, I stopped seeing the light.
To my surprise, my Partner spent the whole day researching this disease, reading every article he couldd find to try and understand what I am going through. He was so supportive and patient and I couldn’t believe all the effort he put in. I mean, I have traumatized this man with my behaviour..
My love gave me hope in a state of hopelessnes.
So grateful.. lets take on another day
AND THANK YOU EVERYONE HERE 
Hope you all have a blessed day
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That’s really awesome you have a supportive partner. That definitely says a lot That he spent the time to read and learn what you’re going through. I know for myself especially in early recovery I was convinced that nobody cared about me anymore and I did all of this serious damage or permanent damage but that wasn’t true. There was so many people that cared about my well-being and getting better. I’m sure that’s the case for you as well. And as far as what you’re going through you have to remember it’s like a storm and it’ll pass. You might not feel like doing anything but sometimes you have to force yourself and stay busy and try to remain grateful. Maybe today you can make a small gratitude list about the things that you’re grateful for and it’ll help put things into perspective for you. I definitely know what it’s like to have those depression episodes with the fatigue and hopelessness but it’s not forever. There is going to be emotional ups and downs in recovery but there is nothing you have to drink or drug over. Plus it’s good you’re reaching out to the community to talk about what you’re going through and you’re not only helping yourself but you’re helping other people as well because you’re making people realize that they’re not alone. There might be somebody that’s reading your post and they’re currently going through the same thing. Continue putting your recovery before everything and things will fall into place for you. Glad you’re here and glad you’re sober
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You know I almost gave into my urge yesterday… incredibly grateful I stayed strong.
Thank you for the advice, Ill make that list now
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So important!! I cannot tell you how many weeks, hours, days, minutes I spent reading on here…it helped me so much and continues to help me now in different, but just as important ways. Knowing we are not alone is so affirming.
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Oh i love this soo much! How fantastic of ur partner to take the time to research on what ur going thru. Even though my husband and I used together, he isnt an addict. He doesnt have that allergy of the body and the obsession of the mind, like i do. Its really rather hard to explain to someone who doesnt understand, what its like to be an addict/alcoholic in recovery and the amount of daily work it takes to stay clean and sober. Im grateful that u have a new found sense of hope 
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