On day 5. Already feeling weak as the sun is shining. Had a FaceTime from a friend who I already told I was staying straight to ask if I was coming out to play. They had a can in their hand and told me about the drinks they’d already had. I’m proud to say I said no today. I hope I can keep this strength. How do you get through these challenges? I know it’s going to get more difficult as time goes on. Summer is arriving, festival season etc …
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I have the same problem. I always associate the warm weather and sunshine with the glasses of cold pinot grigio I’d have in the beer gardens or my garden.
Try hang in there and well done saying no! We’ll get there one day at a time.
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One of the best suggestions I took in early sobriety was to delete all of the contacts in my phone. All of them. I then started accumulating phone numbers of people I KNEW were good for me to interact with. It’s funny to me now how many “friends” I never heard from again after I got sober. Stay strong…keep reaching out…go to a meeting…get a sponsor…call other alcoholics. You can do it! But not just on willpower alone. We need one another. 
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I know, right? It’s such a trigger. I’m already saying in my head maybe just wait til after summer… noooo
I will take it one day at a time, that’s all we can do
Thank you 
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In the early days, I avoided friends and family. My will to not drink was good when I was alone, but not when I was under the pressure of my peers.
As my sobriety grew, my desire and will to remain sober grew as well, and during those alone times, I picked up tools to stay sober, even when under the pressure of my peers.
Protecting my sobriety was my number one priority, and if that meant ditching friends for a while, then that was what I had to do.
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Thanks so much for your response
I have a main friend who I party with. We have been friends for many years. I don’t feel I can do that right now… though I have let them know about my intentions. If they disrespect my boundary I will find it easier to lose them, I guess… it’s so difficult
I definitely agree I can’t do this alone again. That’s why I have joined this page.
Thanks for your encouragement
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Happy to have you aboard! For me personally it is the hardest part. Making new friends that is. Although I made some great ones right here. Losing friends never was a problem. So many people don’t get it. People who don’t have a problem with alcohol don’t. People who do have a problem look in the mirror when they see you and they get scared of what they see, and will react accordingly. They’ll try to lure you back in.
My first festival sober was actually the best experience I ever had. But I was absolutely certain I was not going to do any drugs or drink beforehand. I’m a very black and white guy and I can make those decisions. I actually remember the acts I saw and listened to. I got up early in the morning and had the campsite to myself. It was awesome. The friends I was with were actually cool with me not drinking and din’t push me. It can be done but you need to have the right mindset and the right friends I think. If you’re not so sure about both I’d skip it for a while.
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I am definitely going to be keeping a low profile. I’ve been in an accident and am unable to do all the things that usually keep me strong, kickboxing, swimming. I’ve been stuck at home drinking and buying bags rather than painting and writing and good things.
I don’t get many visitors now as it’s been a few months so I think it will be easier to be more alone now and I can do most things for myself.
Maybe this will be the good thing to come out of accident.
Thanks for your response
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Your doing great! Ride the momentum! You got this!
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Thank you
Thank you
Lots of great suggestions on things to consider. The summer is party time extreme and it’s always been drinking, drugging, everything to excess. I don’t want to do it anymore. I’ve had enough of my own crap.
Thanks for responding:)
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Thank you
The fact that you’ve been to a festival sober gives me hope that I don’t have to eliminate things I enjoy from my life, within reason. I hope to be as strong as you one day.
Have a great day
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Here’s some things I found helpful that is germane to this thread:
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Understanding that I don’t owe anyone my time or my attention. As many alcoholics are, I am a people pleaser, I try to please those around me. That often times gets me into trouble as I end up doing things that others want me (or think they want), even if I don’t want to.
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It’s OK to say NO. Saying no is a powerful thing. It draws that line in the sand, empowers you to take a stand and say “I will not allow you to take advantage of me”.
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Misery Loves Company: The more I said no, the more I stopped pleasing people, the less my friends came around, because, they were miserable and when I took their ability away to make me miserable, they stopped trying and moved on to an easy target.
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Learned to Love and Respect Myself. It took time… A whole lot of time, but I slowly learned, not only what it means to love and respect myself, but what it looks like.
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Set Boundaries: Learning to set clear, solid, black and white boundaries and learning to stick with them when they are breached.
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Understanding that, Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes: If we want to change, everything needs to change. People, places, things. It’s scary, it’s hard, but if we don’t change, nothing will.
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It’s OK to be Alone: I am an extrovert. I am a people person, an entertainer. Being alone is hard for me. I thrive in the spotlight and learning to be alone, to be able to sit and allow time to pass through me, it was near impossible, but it is one of the most useful skills I’ve picked up. Just be.
I am sure I’ve missed some, but these certainly helped me get to where I am today.
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This is amazing, thank you so much. I’m screenshooting the lot. I will look at this each morning. Thanks again for going above and beyond
I can definitely relate to and recognise a lot of stuff here. It will be a strong reminder of what was and encourager of what is to come
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Wow this is definitely a good tool for me.Thank you
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Only if you create difficulty in your mind.
For me there were no beach parties, festivals, night clubs, patios, or houseboating in my first year of recovery ( and yes that included a summer) . My first year of recovery was reading literature, surrounding myself with other people in recovery, making new friends in recovery, getting a solid support system who understood my fucked up brain. I kept myself very safe that first year. I will be honest, it was hard for me to think about never getting loaded again, I couldn’t even phathom the idea. I was very grateful when someone told me that I only need to stay clean today, that I didn’t need to worry about tomorrow. So that is what I have done.
I have no clue where in your life you are at right now but when I got here 2.5 years ago I was desperate, I was fucking exhausted. I had been stuck on an endless ride of pain for most of my life. I just wanted off and I was willing to do anything to make that happen, including missing a summer.
I have not lost any friends since I stopped using and took sometime to heal, I have only lost people who did not belong in my life.
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Hey there… I too was a member of the festival summer crazy party crew. For a good deal of time, my entire concept of FUN centered around the wild feeling of throwing caution to the wind and heading out with people for two to five days of partying, drinking and music going.
For me, for the first year…I cut off all contacts and stayed away from the festival scene. I couldn’t do it…too much temptation. A year might sound like a long time but honestly as I look back on it…it was a blip on the radar. I have been able to go back to festivals and concerts in the last three years, but now they are about the music, not the drugs and excess. I go to see music, to people watch, to cook healthy but delicious food, and to honestly listen to my body (something I sorely neglected in my partying days).
Concerts and festivals are DIFFERENT now, and I will be honest, they are not nearly as wild. But for me, I realized that that wildness was me hitting the “fuck it button” on a daily life that was unmanageable for me. It was unmanageable because of my drinking, my drug use and the fact that I was self medicating with these substances for an underlying tendency towards anxiety.
Now instead of running away from all that, I have the clarity and strength to face it head on. It is what makes my daily life manageable and fulfilling…And now concerts and festivals are a nice little treat on weekends that they fit into my life. Not what my life revolves around.
Not sure if this is helpful, but I just thought it important to let you know one other festival goers evolution through sobriety.
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Try a meeting meet new sober friends wish you well
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This is very helpful, thank you
I have stayed in today and turned down invitations out as I know I would have started drinking.
I was in a really good place three years ago and I’m desperate to get back to feeling like that and enjoying my life again. I know I need to spend time doing my own thing again. Hopefully, I have the strength to keep going and get back to me.
Thanks again
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Thank you.
I’m doing that very thing, getting through one day at a time. I’ve said no three times already this weekend so far. I feel that the more I say no the easier it will become. Fingers crossed
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