Today’s been a Fuckin test , I took my daughter back home on the bus fifteen miles away from where I live , get there get a text msg from child maintenance telling me I’ll be paying three times as much as they said on the phone , I used to pay it to my ex for the last five years but if I’m a week late he’s very abusive so I told him to go to the csa and I’ll pay it through them. The csa explained that if I’m on benefits which I am due to leaving my job of ten years last year as I could no longer guarantee due to my drinking if I’d know what day of the week it was to get there then I would be paying so much ,now I’ve had a msg to set up a direct debit for three times as much ! I’m confused. I’ll try and cut this a bit short now but I was very upset shaking not knowing what to do knowing with my emotions craving came so hard i was spinning out so I called AA ,while I’m talking to them I’m not keeping an eye on my bus and missed the last one home ! I’ve now taken a 30 mile round trip on two buses to get home with a couple in front of me drinking a bottle of wine saying you seem upset mate du want some ! No Fuckin thank you mate I don’t … anyway I’m home now I’ve got money and I didn’t pick up either of my addiction s on the way home .I’m really Fuckin proud of myself today ,even if I am angry with csa I can deal with them on Monday , thanks for listening 
Im really proud of you too.
Thanks @Cjp …daily reflection s this morning your higher power will remove your shortcomings all you need to do is ask , i did not succumb to self pity beg and then take myself to the off licence …I asked , What’s transpired in the last half an hour is that the AA helpline have got in touch with some local women I knew when I last tried two years ago .one wicked woman i really got on with has called and is going to take me to meeting s in her car every Monday as I don’t drive and I live in a village im also able to get to others now I have more info … shit day ,did the right thing now having a nice sober evening 
I’m grateful I could live in the day today
Wow! U werent kidding when u said today was testing u! Omg! Im so grateful u survived this day sober 
Put me down as proud of you also! We don’t drink. No. Matter. What.
@Butterflymoonwoman ,thanks it was tough I had to cry a lot today but I did and I’ve survived, my two cups of tea when I finally arrived home were the quickest but best cups of tea I’ve ever had (did I just say that about tea !!!) @SinceIAwoke …no we don’t … ill journal this day an I’ll get through the next one
good stuff it works if you work it ,and im sure things will work out best wishes from the promised land