It’s day two? Three? and there’s just this overwhelming feeling of guilt that won’t go away.
It’s been in the background for a while as I’ve hidden how much I’ve been vaping from my husband but Wednesday when I woke up vomiting… It was the last straw.
Sort of a “you’re quitting” “yeah”
I had to admit I’m incapable of moderating myself. Have no self control. Just… Can’t be trusted. And it’s so stupid that I had to go and ruin something that isn’t supposed to be addicting. I’m taking this away from him too and he isn’t the one with the problem. He says it’s okay and he doesn’t even smoke much anyway but of course he would say that.
Boxed up all my non-emotionally significant paraphernalia and leftover cannabis. It’s getting given to a friend of mine. I don’t know if I want to go or just send him to deliver. Don’t think I can face him. I don’t want the sympathy that my mind twists into pity.
Husband says he wants to take me out for dinner when I’m physically better.
I can’t imagine a world in which I deserve it.
It’s still my fault I’m here.
Maybe. But also, it’s not really about fault or guilt. You have a past - we all do (oh my goodness, we all have a past, all of us here) - but we are defined by our choices today.
Today, you chose to box that stuff up and send it away. Today, you chose to reach out and connect here on Talking Sober. Those are choices you made today.
Welcome to Talking Sober! There’s lots of good threads to read and post on here. Have a read around and get to know the content and the shares and the people. Welcome home! We are all recovering from something.
Welcome @Doodlesindirt im happy to hear youve reached a point for change. Change is uncomfortable but offers new opportunities.
The first 2 weeks suck. Hold on tight. When youre feeling low definitely take hubby up on the dinner offer.
This place is full of people from around the world working thru various addictions. The threads are kinda clunky but you’ll get the hang of it. Visit this place often. The support saved my ass early on
