I have never actually done the 12 steps, and the main reason behind that decision is because I am an agnostic atheist (which is just a fancy way of saying that i don’t know if there is a god, but I doubt it). If you’ve never read the original 12 steps, Google it… Almost all of the steps revolve around acknowledging and surrendering to a higher power. I’ve never jived with the concept of god, and I’ve spent hours considering different substitutes that I could use as a replacement for my “higher power.” I’ve considered using philosophy, art, nature, and other concepts, but the fact remains that I never had a higher power and I probably never will.
Still, it’s not fair to say that atheists can’t be sober, so I did a little research and found an awesome article with revised steps for people who share my beliefs. Here they are;
1- Acknowledge that I cannot use or drink safely at any time, that bad shit happens to me every single time and it tears my life to shreds.
2- Come to believe I am a) worth living happily and sober b) that I have the power to do things differently—I can change maladaptive and destructive patterns of thought, behavior and action, and make wise choices to stay sober and happy.
3- Become willing to do things differently and make healthy choices in my thoughts, behaviors and actions through various methods, be it CBT, suggestion from wise friends, my sponsor, my father’s wisdom, a therapist, SMART meetings, meditation and the development of my own inner strength and wisdom.
4- Look at the patterns of thought and behavior that don’t serve me and keep me angry, depressed, upset and lead me to drink. Where resentments are concerned, acknowledge my part, be it ever so small, so I can empower myself to change these patterns and have compassion for others. Recognize that interacting with unhealthy people is foolish and causes me harm.
5- Reflect on these patterns, discuss them with someone if necessary and fully acknowledge that these things harm me and cannot continue.
6- Become willing to surrender these negative patterns of thought, behavior and actions, including drinking or other addictive behavior, unhealthy romantic entanglements with douchebags, unhealthy job settings and unhealthy people.
7- Take the necessary action to change these maladaptive patterns, to end unhealthy relationships and continue to take action that leads me to sobriety, sanity and wellness.
8- Make a list of persons I have harmed and become willing to make amends to them.
9- Make direct amends to such people, whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them, myself or others.
10- Continue to watch for maladaptive behavior, without judgement, and take action to change it. Be kind and apologize when I’m in the wrong. Drive like a Taoist.
11- Involve myself in positive activities, such as dance, travel, learning in classes, exercise, meditation, going to museums and readings, writing and cooking. Hang out with positive and spirit-lifting people to participate in life and keep moving forward, away from my addictive past.
12- Develop an ethical compass. Treat others with respect and compassion, live with wisdom and generosity. Give back to the community when possible and to others in recovery while employing healthy boundaries. Live an example of a positive, openhearted, honest, ethical life and put the shopping cart back where it belongs in the grocery store parking lot.
You can find the entire article here; http://aaagnostica.org/2015/07/26/rewriting-the-12-steps-for-atheists/