The last handful of posts of mine have been pretty heavy. I’m typically a pretty positive and optimistic person but life has just crippled me.
Last week I was told I have to put one of my bunnies down due to a severe injury. We couldn’t afford it….. so they sent us home with some pain meds for her until we could figure it out. She actually started to improve a bit. Got a second opinion. Was told to just monitor her. Was finally feeling hopeful again and then today my fiancé was brought to the ER. He has severe Crohns Disease he’s had several surgeries and feet of intestines removed. He had a flare up 2 weeks ago. Today it got worse. He’s bleeding internally. He was admitted. I’m typing this from a hospital room. I haven’t eaten at all today, I’m exhausted but can’t sleep and the only thing I can think about now that it’s quiet is that I just want a fucking drink. I haven’t felt like this in a really long time. I just don’t know what to do.
KC, the first thing is to just breathe. Try to take some deep breaths while focusing on relaxing your muscles. You must be so tense. Some people here have breathing techniques they use when stressed. They can show you.
Second thing is, try to get some food, water, and a nap. You need to be as strong and alert as possible.
Third, think that your fiancé is under medical supervision now. They can help him; they WILL help him.
And especially, none of what is happening will be made better by drinking, and it will definitely make it worse for you. One day, one hour at a time. Come by every moment you need to. We’re here to listen and support.
This is a lot to carry all at once — your bunny, your fiancé, the exhaustion, the fear, and now that pull you haven’t felt in a long time. I am so sorry you have to go through this.
You don’t have to solve anything tonight. You just have to get through tonight. Try to eat something, even something small from a vending machine. Your body needs it.
Can you think of one small thing that usually brings you even a little comfort? Hugs, friend
Sending hugs. This just sucks. A drink won’t help. You cannot support your fiancé, process emotions, make informed decisions, under the influence of alcohol. Just do the next right thing, and do it sober. Keep us posted on how things are going.
Dont know much to say but hang in dont u give in he needs u now to stay sober and be there for him i feel u whenever i go true shit i want it to but thath would mean that everything we did goes to waste u would be mad atyourself again
That’s a lot for a short period, I understand the stress all too well. And I am sorry about your partner and will keep him in my thoughts. I am so glad you posted.
Please don’t drink at the stress. I guarantee drinking will not remove the stress. It will make you feel awful on top of how you already feel and deplete you further. Please don’t drink.
I suggest getting some food, maybe a nourishing banana, something comforting like grilled cheese or soup as well and a chocolate milk (assuming you like that). Comfort foods are key (for me at least) when depleted. And drink a big glass of cold water, they have lots of ice at hospitals.
I know it is rough and you have a lot going on. This is when we can lean on that inner strength of sobriety and know we have that strong constant we can connect with. Remember how good it feels to wake up hangover and regret free.
I know life can be challenging and I also know you can get thru this sobriety intact. Lean on the forum, people are here. And please take a little time to get some nourishment in your body. Sending hugs and love from afar.
Let me tell you a little of my story, 2 years ago my boyfriend of 12 years was hospitalized for 6 months for his colon. He had several feet removed of his intestines and eventually ended up with a colostomy bag. Fast forward to this January. He was finally well enough for him to have his reversal. Both of us were raging alcoholics. He went in for his reversal and he was so unhealthy on the inside from the alcohol that he came out of surgery with an ileostomy & liver failure. As soon as i heard the word cirrhosis, I instantly stopped drinking all I could think about was our kids. They needed at least one parent present. I sat in that hospital everyday wanting a drink. I prayed for the cravings to pass. I cried myself to sleep in my car in the parking lot because I couldn’t let him see me that way. By March he was moved to a different hospital. He was actively dying. His liver had shut down almost completely they were the only thing keeping him alive. I was still sober. By May he was put on a Liver transplant list & the second week in May he had a match. He is now 7 months sober with a new liver and thriving, but do you know what I did? After months of soberity under my belt, I buckled after i knew he was going to be okay. & because of that our 12 year relationship ended. After everything I had been thru with him. All this to say….Youve got this girl. I understand the mental hardships of being in that hospital and just wanting a drink. Pray, Hit your knees. Grab a book. Catch up on some sleep. Its hard but your sobriety is worth it. Dont be like me. I lost it all. & im just now trying to start over. Im praying for yall. You are STRONG. I promise you, I know the feeling.
Hi! I somehow got locked out of my account. I’m just seeing this. Thank you so much for this. Things have been so hard but they get better everyday. Tomorrow is 3 years for me. Slowly but surely life will go on and I will continue to grow and heal just like you will
