The 30 day sobriety solution

If you’re having trouble with relapsing or don’t want to work AA’s program I seriously recommend picking this up. There is so much practical advice about changing your thought patterns, setting goals, visualizing.

Better than both my therapists combined.

I’m really surprised it doesn’t get mentioned more.

I identified that I romanticize alcohol too much and subconsciously haven’t seen myself as a sober person. I also suffer greatly from negative thought patterns.

Every time my mind wanders to booze I think about this book. And I’ve read basically all the books including AA.

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Thanks. I don’t think I have read that one!

Looks like a good one.

Would you say that a porn addict like myself would gain any benefit from reading it?

I used to fall for that romanticizing of drinking a lot. It changed when I accepted the truth about alcohol and my disease. I got honest with myself and admitted that alcohol has only negative impact in my life. I admitted that I can not get anything positive from drinking alcohol. It took a while to get my brain to understand this…but now that I have accepted the truth about alcohol. I no longer see drinking as an option.
Wish you well

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Oh god, romanticising drinking, addiction and psychic complexity was basically how I navigated through social groups and potential idols, literary heros, admired musicians all through my youth and young adulthood. To recognise this pattern as harmful, or even just problematic took a lot and only happened because it had utterly run out and not left me with anything practicable, it ran straight against a wall. To admit how deep it went and how big an influence it was on the invention of myself is still such a huge task. And a scary one too! I still don’t know if I’ve grown much from then. Do youse all think this might be changing in the young folk today?

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Well my Idols were Jim Morrison and the Rolling Stones…I don’t know what kids will grow up like idolizing Kanye West…and I’m not looking forward to finding out :wink:

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Hahaha you’re so right, not a Kanye lover here either! :joy: They are surely not going to learn self-irony or humility…
Well the Stones got away with their demons and addictions, how am I supposed to feel about that?! (Apart from jealous)

There’s a part of me that wants to think that they got away with it…but the reality is that they didn’t…they have struggled with addiction disease just the same as we have…and to finally understand that is part of me recovering. There is no junkie out there with a happy ending…but addicts and alcoholics can live a life in recovery…and there are no special people…no matter if you’re rich and famous…you can’t hide from addiction…I know that now. I used to think that there was a secret -get out of jail card…that I just hadn’t found yet. There isn’t…not for me…not for you…not for keith richards…and that’s a truth about addiction

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I have read a lot of rock star memoirs about their addictions, they suffered like us for sure and lost a lot in the process. For many of them, they ruined their relationships with family, friends, bandmates etc. no different than us…they just did it with name recognition and more money…unless they spent all their $ like David Crosby did before he got sent to jail. His memoir is quite the cautionary tale.

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You’re right again. Part of me still thinks if you can hold it together and be productive with all that, you kinda beat the system. I know it’s wrong to think like that. But I’m new here.

Sassyrocks which memoirs did you enjoy especially? Looking to expand my sober(ing) library!

Some I enjoyed / got something out of…

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead, Warren Zevon (not a sobriety memoir, more a cautionary tale)
The Dirt, Motley Crue
Long Time Gone, David Crosby (probably my 'favorite ’ in the genre, what an ass and what a mess)
It’s Only Rock n Roll, Jo Woods memoir about life with Ron
Dirty Rocker Boys, Bobbie Brown
Wonderful Tonight, Pattie Boyd
The Road Through Wonderland, Dawn Schiller (look it up…intense!! She is a survivor!!)
Beauty Disrupted, Carrie Otis
Thing of Beauty, Story of Gia by Stephen Fried
High on Arrival by Mackenzie Philips

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many times “productive” is a term applied very loosely…barely functioning and on the verge of breakdown is accurate in my experience

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Excellent, really appreciate this! :hugs:

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How did your appreciation for your heros and their art change when you started acknowledging and fighting your addiction?

Well said Rain; thanks, for all you contribute here too.

By understanding that I needed to let go of my own ego I also understood that there was no need or reason for the cult of personality. I still love the music and poetry that Jim and the Doors made…Just see him as a sad person who didn’t get to ask for help. I am really grateful also for all the opportunities that AA has granted me to be of service to others. Cause I’ve found that it is a remedy for keeping me ego as small as possible.
Music is really really important to me. If I try and listen to it real carefully, I can hear new meaning. It’s singing to me about positive. Even in the saddest of songs.

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I know what you mean! Impossibly as it would have seemed to me a year or even a few months ago, instead of all that I loved before being lost, all the beauty and complexity and edge and relevance of artworks concerned with well, the ego as you say, and it’s demons and problems, it’s more like sobriety turns them upside down and oddly finally the right side up. As if under this new light sth very distinctively still shines out and true about them, just sth unexpected, and seen by a new eye of mine. Which is immensely reassuring. O.O But really this is an entirely experiential thing for me yet, my mind and belief system clearly haven’t caught up with this wonder yet!
I’m not in AA (yet) but strangely enough the thought of service to others, helping, has independently emerged for me too and seems to have sth to do with ethics and aesthetics alike, just as “before” I’d always believed too that art does provide service and is an ethical thing in some way, as well as being art. Maybe I’m projecting too much into what you’re saying, if so I apologise.

In my experience, what you are describing is the waking to see and feel your own moral compass which you literally had to kill to be able to exist in addicted state. You’re getting to feel the real you again. Getting to live according to your own morality. That is beautiful and necessary for keeping your ego small. I have found that the 12 step program is awesome for my spiritual growth and bettering the quality of my life. It works if you work it, so work it, you’re worth it.

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Powerful stuff. Been feeling this very acutely. Some feeling of coming into the right, things losing their double-ness without becoming dull, it being easier to say and do and belief the same rather than always feeling like there’s something crooked and stubborn somewhere, or that no accordance is to be had at all anywhere in the world.
But I’m extremely vary of ideology and this seems too good to be true at times? How can I ensure this isn’t just a pleasurable feeling I’ll end up abusing for egoistical means or ambitions? I do feel like I’m becoming a better person, but how do I know?

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