For the first time in four years I was able to set a boundary with the man I love.
After three and a half weeks of being missing, he called me, begging me to take him to use. Promising me it would be the last time (again) promising me he would go to detox after (again) promising me I wouldn’t be around the drugs (again.) I said “No” and stuck by it. Even through the tears and the begging and the promises and the manipulation. I had the perfect opportunity to take the next exit and see him, instead I stayed my course and went to the meeting I had already planned on attending. I ate lunch with a group of addicts and went home. I went to the movies with my son. I am now safe in my bed.
This is the first time I ever had the strength to say “No” and mean it. I didn’t run to him like every other time. Had I gone to see him, who knows what would have happened. More lies, more pain, maybe I would have used, maybe I would have let down my family again, maybe I would have been arrested, maybe I would have died…
I know I did the right thing, but I also knew I had to hit my knees and pray for him to find recovery soon before it is too late. Until he is safe, I will always wonder if that was my last chance to ever see him again. I am open to all prayers, please to help me through this.