37 days… 37 fuckin days…gone… Just like befor. Only this time is diffrent. This time I wanted to be sober. For 37 days I said hell no! I didnt drink. And it was hard. The hardest thing in my life. Things Ive been thru have been hard. I need help… I need thera4py…everyone says go to an AA meeting… I never did. I WANTED TO! But I never did. I drank. And Then I drank. And then I drank some more. I have dreams, i have nighhtmares. My brain never stoppes thinking! Its so tiring! "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! STOP THINKING ABOUT IT! So much pain… So many stories I wish I could talk about but I feel like noone would listen. Will I die from alcohloism? Idk. All ik is my heart hurts. And this is the reason why I threw down 37 days… Im hurt. Im dissapointed. Im confused. But Im mostly ashamed…
So what did you learn this time?
What’s different?
37 days is better than 1 or 0.
How did you do it?
What could you do to make 37 turn to 38?
its about meeting in the meeting you well meet people talk to him its not about therape its just about meeting and work steps keep come back dont be ashame
and you can do it just share and talk to people
Hey, sorry to hear you’re struggling. It’s ok to find it hard! What matters is what you do next.
If you are struggling with your mental health then I’m sure you know that alcohol will not be making things better. Forgetting your problems temporarily is not a solution, they will still be there when you sober up (plus a hangover, and potentially more problems caused by your actions while drunk).
You have reached out here which is a great first step. The fact that you’ve identified you need some support is also great - getting help is something that’s in your control. I don’t know where you live and what access you have to mental health support, but why not make that the next thing you look up?
Don’t beat yourself up! I’m betting most people on this forum have relapsed more than once, including myself - lots of 5 times! So you’re not alone in that aspect. Relapses usually start way before we actually pick up a drink. It’s the thinking that we have to constantly be aware of, and we all need a healthy outlet to unload when our emotions/feelings start taking over. You just need a better plan this time, which may include AA/therapy, etc. Maybe you can look back at some of your thinking before you decided to drink, and learn from it. When you’re sober, make a plan for how you will address those feelings when you’re confronted with them again (they’ll always return at some point). Don’t wait until you’re blindsided. My 2 cents 
Maybe a meeting will help you i know many people who have gone to meetings and never relapsed they make living sober easier wish you well
I know you are disappointed in yourself. But no one can take what you learned about yourself and the desire to be sober from you, except picking up.
The one thing that sticks out to me in your post is the I I I’s. For me, I know I could not do it on my own. For so many years, I was the type where it was I got myself into this mess, and I am gonna get me out. I had been fucked over by so many people, that I was the only one I could trust to help.
The one thing this sobriety thing has taught me is that I (and the ego of mine) am the source of my own misery. I cannot do this sobriety thing alone, without you, the others here, and the people in the rooms that I have come to know. Without this ragtag group of drunks, I don’t know where I would be. What I cannot do, we can.
I completely understand the incessant thoughts…and if people start telling u “u gotta stop overthinking it.” Thats no help…what i can say is being willing to stop trying to piece everything together. Thats God’s job and in no way is it a simple task when u r an overthinker (like many of us r).
Hi. In this journey I have found it helpful to write down my thoughts in a journal. I am also going to therapy. I had so much rattling around in my mind, much like you, that I didn’t get out, didn’t want to tell anyone. Much like @DowntroddenGoat I felt like what I had to say didn’t matter, nobody cared. I found my place in SAA meetings, spoke my truth, told my whole story to a group of people. I cried… a lot. But once my story was out there and I found I had a room full of people who didn’t run away, didn’t turn their backs on me but wanted to help, then I began to heal. Therapy helps too cause if you’re worried that nobody will listen, you can literally pay someone to sit and listen.
Shame is normal, but not helpful. Shame drives us back into using by telling us that we are inherently bad people, worthless and nobody cares. Shame lies.
If you’re head is stuck in the past, find someone to whom you can tell your story.
You may not have anyone right now so you may have to go looking. Best wishes to you!