My mind was all over the place today. I have so much I need to accomplish in the next few days between doctor and dentist appointments as well as acclimating myself to a new city that I had a hard time staying in the moment and focusing on the fact that my sobriety is the most important thing in my life. The next few months is such an important time in my life and I think I’m scared to fail. Drinking and using hasn’t just been a way for me to cope with life. It’s also been a scapegoat for me. Something that I could blame my failures and inadequacies on. Now if I fall short on my goals it falls directly on me. I can barely breathe at the moment. My anxiety is through the roof, and I feel terrified. I know this will pass by the morning. It’s hard going through life alone, but I keep telling myself that I am capable of anything if I stop being scared of failure.
I’m glad that you came here and wrote it out and that you feel like there will be an end in sight to the anxiety as the night goes on.
I hate that you’re feeling terrified. Diversion like looking around the site or even doing breath work or meditation of some type could be helpful.
Take a deep breath and every time the word failure or fearful pops in your head try quickly replacing it with a positive word like “success” or “not failure” or “ not fearful”. Your brain can only handle one word at a time. So for that moment, that positive word will be there instead of the negative word and maybe it will help the feelings of fear and failure be less. I’m glad you posted. There’s lots of support for you here.
With anxiaty this breathing gif can help you:
You can put it on your phone so you will always have it near you.
I understand your feelings. I know that overwhelming emotion too. What helps me a bit is to make a list of things I can do today and make it douable to fix those. I focus on that list and not on all the other to do things that lie in the future.
You can do it, step by step! Small steps will get you there as well! 