I’m hoping to stay sober this time. The longest I’ve ever gone without a drink is 10 days. I’m really hoping this time I can be strong enough to go the distance. I’ve ruined nearly everything in my life on multiple occasions but have a lot to live for now - a great husband, amazing kids. The last thing I want to do is destroy my marriage and my family.The main problem is that I don’t know any sober people - not one person in my life is sober or drinks responsibly. Its tough tackling this problem alone but I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’d rather risk losing friendships than risk losing myself.
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It’s definitely hard when everyone else around you drinks. I have gone on several bouts of not drinking, but this time is different for me with downloading the app and getting into this forum. I am finding the forums a great place for motivation and support to keep strong. I’ve got a pretty high stress job, and today was probably the worst day in a long time, but I stayed strong and didn’t drink (and I definitely wanted to)! I came to the forum to help keep me on track. We can do this!
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I wish you all the best. I am newly sober too and I am thinking a lot about friendships.
After reading lots of books (This Naked Mind, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, The Sober Diaries) which were the experiences of women quitting, it helped a lot. Also this forum’s search button to find topics about socializing and friendships.
What I am trying to remember is that any true friend will want me to grow and be better. I might lose some drinking buddies but I am determined to join new clubs and groups.
I am also starting to remember how I wasn’t a great friend drinking. I didn’t focus enough on others, was codependent, I forgot new people I had met. So I hope I can start having higher quality friendships now.
It was tough last night. A friend came over for dinner and I wasn’t drinking. She was fine but I could tell that she was mourning the loss of my drunken crazy self. I hope over time I will become more loose and free. In many of the books I read it says to remember that the first time doing anything new is the hardest (weddings, parties etc).
Sending you positive vibes!
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Proud of you for staying strong today! I’m liking the app and forum already 
I’m debating checking out one of the meetings in my area too. It’d be nice to meet up with a friend for coffee for a change
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Well done for not drinking! This forum is a life saver!
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I’ve read The Naked Mind - one of my favorites. Its actually what made me consider getting sober the first time. I reread it often. I’ll need to check out the other two books you mentioned. I’m hoping to start reading more now that I’m sober.
I’m reminding myself of the same thing in terms of friendships - I’m not a great friend during benders. I forget people I’ve met, things my friends tell me, and also become way too emotional.
I’m glad you stayed strong when your friend came over. Thats usually where I’ve failed in the past so it gives me hope that its possible to overcome those moments reading how you were able to. I’m hoping I can gain more strength being part of this forum.
Sending strength your way!
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Maybe try a meeting meet plenty of sober people there wish you well
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I’ll have to check out The Naked Mind since you all mentioned it. Sending you all positive vibes from Chattanooga, Tennessee! These forums are great. We can encourage each other and others through the journey to sobriety. New hobbies are definitely a must. After I get past this first week, I am going to get back on my old gym routine of going to group exercise classes there. That’s an easy way to make healthy friendships too.
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I only read 1 book when I was first trying to quit (the Allen Carr book) and now I am reading loads of them as I find that I am taking a little bit of information from each one and creating my own ideas too.
I strongly recommend the book ‘the sober diaries’ for you, it is a book about a mother and wife who quit and is a year in the life of her quitting. She’s a really funny writer.
The other book ‘the unexpected joy of being sober’ is a great and practical book where she also starts by sharing her experience.
As your name is determinedworkingmom I think the book The Sober Diaries would be great to read too. It is about a mother who quits drinking.
This Naked Mind is also a YouTube channel and Podcast
Here is a full list of great books I have read so far
The Sober Diaries
This Naked Mind
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
Kick the Drink… Easily!
The Easyway to Control Alcohol
Blackout
Good luck to you!
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Thank you! I’m going to check out Sober Diaries.
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Let me know what you think. I would love to chat about it.
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I just downloaded the audiobook to Audible. Starting it now
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Great! I am so grateful for technology. This app and downloading books has been great. Let me know what you think.
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Excellent excellent point! That’s exactly what happened to me. I lost myself more than anything, now I am finding the REAL me again and I must say, living on this side of the fence is something I have no interest in changing. 
Welcome!
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I understand completely were you are coming from. No one in my life is sober either.
Yes very true my kids. Dont know any adults who dont drink unfortunately.
I am in the exact same boat. All of the adults I know, family included, drink and the majority drink to excess. I’ve always tried to get sober myself with self help books, sheer will power, crazy exercise goals to distract myself, etc. but this time I chose to go to an AA meeting. The main reason was I needed at least one sober person in my life. Its lonely and isolating trying to tackle this by yourself and thats where I’ve always fallen into old habits because I didnt want to feel alone. I’ve only been to one meeting so far but it was encouraging to be in that environment where everyone in the room understood what I was feeling/going through. AA might not be for everyone but maybe try finding a reading club or running club or something like that where the focus is on something else other than drinking. I’m sure at least one of the people in the group doesn’t drink. If that is not your thing, then you always have us on here Either way you’re not alone in this.
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This forum has helped me stat on track too many times. It’s been very helpful when you don’t have a lot of physical help around you.
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