I slipped. I had been sober over a year. Trying to get my son back from addicted father and step mother after spending two years locked up. Today happened and I don’t even know why. It came out of nowhere and I did it big. I drank, did coke, and meth. Wtf was I thinking??? I could just die from the guilt. I have worked so hard to throw it away like that. I feel like a failure. Like a giant piece of crap. I love my son with all my heart and it’s up me to change his circumstances which are horrible. How could I do this?!?!? I could just die. It hurts so bad.
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Welcome to the community!
Don’t be so hard on yourself, it happened and you can’t go back and undo it.
But you are here checking in and venting which is great! You were sober for a year and you can do it again! We’re rooting for you!! JUST DO IT!!
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Welcome to the group Brittany. There is nothing you can do about what is done BUT you can control what happens next. Fight like hell, pick yourself up and fight.
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Thank you for that. I needed to hear it. I just got to heal from this. I literally broke my own heart today.
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Glad you’re back. It happens- I relapsed after over a year before. It took me many months to come back, but now I have over a year again- you can do it too. And this time you have all the knowledge, tools, and resources you gathered during your first year sober to help you along the way. Keep coming back- you can do this.
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If you fall down 7 times you get back up 8 times! It’s happened now the only thing in your control now is how you react to it, dig in deep and analyze what went wrong and caused you to pick up then next time your can have a plan in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Welcome 
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I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I understand looking back on your own actions, and just not understanding why. Whatever energy you are using on guilt, throw it into your recovery. What did you do to get your one year? Do that and more. We are here to support you if you want. Plenty of us relapsed, some after a chunk of sobriety like yourself, but managed to quit for good. It isn’t over while you are still fighting.
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Your an addict. Your not special, different, the exception to the rule. Your not to blame and your not at fault. Many will never make it as far as you came and many will last longer and still be as shocked when they finally pick up.
We start again, we don’t make the same mistake twice. We may pick up for 100 different reasons but never the same one twice, that’s called progress, strength and determination.
We keep moving forward, You keep moving forward.
Guilt from the past won’t keep you sober only today’s actions are what matter now.
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Thank you everyone. It helps so much. I think I can finally relax well enough to sleep. Day 1 starts tomorrow and I can’t wait to get back to it.
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Welcome to the community 
Tomorrow is a new day sleep and whilst falling asleep - and when waking remind your today is a new day.
Today can be different.
How much better would it feel to know you have got back to a Normal day and can leave this moment behind you.
Use the low feelings and dread relapsing makes you feel to drive your motivation and help yourself get back on track.
You can do this.
Right now is a very crucial time as its so easy to say one more day, or il start back on track tomorrow. Which we all know will quickly spiral our lives out of control.
This is a brilliant supportive community, id suggest what worked for me is to be very active here and try some meetings.
You know you can do this because you have before. Let this just be a bump in the road you got past. Not a bump that trips you up and leaves you stuck in the same cycle.
I believe in you 
Keep coming back here for support, especially come here if you feel like things are too much as there is always people available to help you through.
Nice to meet you 
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Relapse is apart of recovery unfortunately 
,
It’s were we get our growth from in our failure’s.
But it’s up to us “if” we chose to learn from our failure’s,
First step is you have admitted it ,so you pick your self up even if you feel guilty and you start a new tomorrow with a smile 
…
Remember that us mum’s need to love our selfs as well even when we fail
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Relapse happens but dosnt have to be a part of recovery thats my experience , Sometimes it happens why- triggers, situations, as stated maybe try a meeting might help you with your sobriety ,helped me stay sober for few yeas now wish you well
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Hey I want to let you all know that today I feel a lil better. I got some great advice from all of you and I’m gonna spin this for the positive. I know I have progressed even with the back step bc today I’m at work and not using. In the past I would have kept using and for certain wouldn’t go into work and definitely wouldn’t have reached out to you wonderful people. Thank you again for being there while I was feeling so low and doing it without judgement. Have a wonderful day!
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